Request for Regime Change

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Xisiqomelir
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Request for Regime Change

Postby Xisiqomelir » Tue Mar 04, 2003 11:33 am

(original thread, with commentary, available here)

ServanX (THEWARLORD) wrote:We Singaporean beg to differ from those stinking Brits, our ex-Colonial overlords, as with regards to the article in the next post.

We, the citizens of Singaporeans, would like to appeal to you, President George Bush of the United States, to rid us our current political regime. We see that you are facing some questions about the moral intentions of your planned regime change in Iraq and believe that doing a quick regime change in Singapore, will provide you ammunition to counter such baseless charges.

We will make this pitch short and sharp.

Military wise, though SG is armed with niffty weaponry provided by your country, it is mainly a conscripted force. The soldiers will surrender willingly as the current government is not so popular now that various criterion of failure in governance has become apparent. Also, the overwhelming force of 2 US Carrier groups is more than sufficient to easily overpower the military capabilities of Singapore. This is apparent to all Singaporean conscripts. There will be no war for sure. Singaporeans are a calculative sort of people whose primary loyalty can accurately summed up as "Show me the money" which leads to our next point.

The current perception is that current government cannot do anything about the current economic problems. It has repeated affirm that our economy will improve only when the US economy does. Hence, it will be immediately accepted by all Singaporean that they do not need a middleman to the US President and Congress. In fact, one of the key benefits of the FTA proposed previously has been that it will liberate Singaporean entrepreneurs by having SG Government Linked Companies play fair. In fact, we are more than willing to pay you and future US presidents, 50% of the salaries along with other retirement benefits, cost savings arising from retrenching the present cabinet (some stupid political organisational structure from those people who drive on the wrong side of the road). This is a considerable sum. Easily, more than SGD 15 million (or about USD 9 million) a year. We figured we don't need a parliament of MPs and can just do with a Mayoral team, 2 or 3 Representatives and 1 Senator. Doing so will off course encourage the development of a civil society and there is a lot of unused capacity here for this given the exisitng political climate.

Another advantage is that in Singapore is that Muslims Singaporeans are somewhat discriminated against. They can't wear tudangs (that headdress thingy like a scarf but it covers the neck) in schools and they can be RSAF fighter pilots or be Generals among other things. On effecting regime change in Singapore, you can immediately allow them to wear tudangs in schools, admit 1 or 2 muslims to be SAF scholars, let some be fighter pilots and voila, EVERYONE in the world will know that you are NOT an aggressor of Islam but a Liberator for Islam. After all, isn't Saddam Hussein the head of a secular dictatorship?

In realpolitik terms, well, we Singaporean are a pragmatic lot, the location of Singapore allows the US to threaten a bottleneck on shipping resources to China and Japan. Sir, there's nothing like talking softly while carrying a big stick behind you. The number of pro China individuals are few (the Chinese majority in fact call them, chinese helicoptors with reference to the way they talk, ching chong ching chong ching chong ...). Mind you, the first draft of this document (including this passage) was authored by an ethnic Chinese. And besides, local Singaporeans tend to see any other nationality, save that of Americans to be somewhat inferior to it. Such posturing, implicit or explicit, will be image reinforcing for Singaporeans and thus, vigourously approved at all levels of Singaporean society.

Last but not least, the aquisition of Singapore, or regime change if you wish, pays for itself. We have massive fiscal and foreign reserves. Currently, the budget approved has only a SGD 1 billion odd deficit. Previously, we have been running fiscal surpluses as much as SGD 10 billion for upteen years. All you need to do is to release a larger fraction of these reserves to the public and they will overwhelming vote in a later UN observed referendum to join the US as its 52nd (?) state. It has been stated in our official media recently (Today newspaper) that Singapore's fiscal reserves stand at SGD 500 odd billion. (I may be mistaken, they could have meant US dollars). This easily covers the bill for Iraq (net of oil contracts gains, but if you say the word, we will never mention this again) and for North Korea if you so decide to liberate the poor starving people there.

Given that the firepower of a US Carrier group stationed in Singapore is more than sufficient to deter any aggression from neighbouring countries, the elimination of conscription will win over very well with the local populace (MADMANSG, this one is for you. You approve, yes?) and we estimate that SGD 2 billion will more than cover the cost of stationing the carrier group. This means a surplus of at least 3-4 billion in the budget that you can apply elsewhere which will be extremely stimulative to our local economy. You will be a local hero for sure.

To summarize, Singaporeans have been presold to accept US governance by the current government as being beneficial to our society and way of life, and indeed will improve it. There are numerous opportunities to effect quick and cheap solutions to counter perceptions of you being anti-islam. The aquisition of Singapore is self financing and represents strategic real estate.

Yours pragmatically,
(for your immediate attention and we pray, action),

Singaporean Elites in Sammyboy.com forums (you wouldn't see one of us here use a emmigration consultant ...)

(Forummers please reply with an AYE to show support. NAYs, you better watch out, we will find out who you are and then ... . As this is the first draft, feel free to improve on it or make other recommendations.)
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Postby Corth » Tue Mar 04, 2003 1:22 pm

I hope you realize that caning people as punishment for petty crimes would violate the US Constitution's prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment. If we were to acquire your cute little country we would have to formally insist that you refrain from such conduct. :)

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Postby cichlids » Tue Mar 04, 2003 2:31 pm

caning cruel and unjust, death penelty isnt...go figure
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Postby thanuk » Tue Mar 04, 2003 3:01 pm

local Singaporeans tend to see any other nationality, save that of Americans to be somewhat inferior to it.



riiiiiigggghhhhtttttttt....we hate everyone! Oh, well not YOU guys! :wink:


Caning as a punishment for spray painting a car is cruel and unusual.

Injecting someone with large doses of novicaine, and then putting them to a painless death as a punishment for pre-meditated murder, a punishment which is delayed for an average of 12 years, is only cruel and unusual to the families of the victims.
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Postby Chandigar2 » Tue Mar 04, 2003 3:12 pm

Yea, but imagine how bad CANNING someone as punishedment would be. Talk about cruel and unusual... :shock:


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Postby Jegzed » Tue Mar 04, 2003 3:13 pm

thanuk wrote:Caning as a punishment for spray painting a car is cruel and unusual.


I don't like caning as a penalty, but I wonder why do we think it is so cruel?

Isn't a prison sentence more cruel? ie, its a loss of part of your life.
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Postby Rausrh » Tue Mar 04, 2003 3:17 pm

Bring back the Guillotine!
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Postby thanuk » Tue Mar 04, 2003 3:37 pm

Jegzed wrote:
thanuk wrote:Caning as a punishment for spray painting a car is cruel and unusual.


I don't like caning as a penalty, but I wonder why do we think it is so cruel?

Isn't a prison sentence more cruel? ie, its a loss of part of your life.


Well technically you dont lose a part of your life, you just spend that part of it with severe restriction over your actions. But I see your point, its all about defining what "cruel and unusual" is. It seems the general consensus of this country is that "cruel and unusual" amounts to violent punishment, while containment is not considered cruel and unusual. I personally find some penalties to be cruel and unusual due to their duration in regard to the crime committed. 5 years for possession of marijuana is cruel and unusual, in my opinion, but that was not the opinion of the people who originally decided on the sentence. I find a maximum penalty of 7 years for rape to be cruel and unusual for women; it trivializes the severity of the crime committed, but the people who decided on the sentence felt that it was sufficient to act as a deterrent.

But i think this term was made purposely ambigious, so that there is a great deal of wiggle room in sentencing criminals. The problem this creates is that the severity of penalty has no real standard. Is possession of marijuana almost as serious a crime as rape? By most people's standards no, but by the standard of maximum sentencing, yes. It is ambigious terms like this that often create problems in our legal system, as they leave too much room for individual interpretation, but i guess it is better than having so much restriction that there is no room to distinguish similar crimes with very different circumstances.
Mysrel tells you 'have my babies'

You tell Mysrel 'u want me to be ur baby daddy?'

Mysrel tells you 'daddy? No, I think you have the terminology wrong'

You tell Mysrel 'comeon now we both know i would be the top'

Mysrel tells you 'can be where ever you want to be, yer still getting ****** like a drunken cheerleader'
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Postby Mikayla » Tue Mar 04, 2003 3:45 pm

you are right nukie, there alot of penalties for crimes that i dont think fit in todays society. maybe i just look at things differently, like if you kill someone, there should be no trial no jail time, just you go directly to the chair, you do not pass go, you do not collect $200 you get a lethal injection. i feel the same way about drunk driving, and the excuss of well he was under the influence, bah horsehit, that person knew damn well what would happen if they drank. so that under the influence is a bunch of fucking bullshit.
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Postby Kthxbye~ » Tue Mar 04, 2003 4:13 pm

I wonder if the kid that got caned has spraypainted any more cars?

I wonder if the punishment for vandalism was caning, maybe say, 10 whacks, by the property owner, if incidents of vandalism would go down? :) If you think its cruel and unusual....don't freakin vandalize other people's property!

I'm all for american liberation of Singapore, just send some more singaporean hotties to america :)
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Postby Tasan » Tue Mar 04, 2003 4:17 pm

We could solve the caning issue fairly easily by making all misdemeanor's punishble by it. It'd make it usual and therefore not against the constitution :)

Personally I think the punishment should fit the crime. You run over yer husband w/ yer mercedes, you get run over by a chevy impala 76'.

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Postby Jegzed » Tue Mar 04, 2003 4:23 pm

Mikayla wrote: like if you kill someone, there should be no trial.


I guess you'd had loved Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union then.

Trials? If the cop or security officer says you did a crime, you got executed.
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Postby Sarvis » Tue Mar 04, 2003 4:31 pm

Tasan wrote:We could solve the caning issue fairly easily by making all misdemeanor's punishble by it. It'd make it usual and therefore not against the constitution :)

Personally I think the punishment should fit the crime. You run over yer husband w/ yer mercedes, you get run over by a chevy impala 76'.

Twinshadow


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Postby Ashiwi » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:00 pm

cichlids wrote:caning cruel and unjust, death penelty isnt...go figure


Cichlids... fish or obscure 80's band?
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Postby cichlids » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:06 pm

Fish of course :)

been keeping, breeding them fer years
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Postby Clan Blindhammer » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:57 pm

Rausrh wrote:Bring back the Guillotine!


HERE HERE!

I'm a fan of eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. Only with immediate and savage action in the forefront, will we ever be able to bring total and ultimate peace to the, uh, not forefront.
:roll:

No really. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. And people with only one hand shouldn't steal things, and uhm etc. :wink:
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Postby Musi » Tue Mar 04, 2003 7:09 pm

thanuk wrote:Well technically you dont lose a part of your life, you just spend that part of it with severe restriction over your actions.


I don't think most prisoners are that restricted. They get to have free meals, lift weights, play sports, watch tv, conjugal visits etc... and WE'RE the ones paying for it :roll: The ones in solitary confinement are the ones that are the most restricted.
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Postby Kthxbye~ » Tue Mar 04, 2003 8:14 pm

Musi wrote:I don't think most prisoners are that restricted. They get to have free meals, lift weights, play sports, watch tv, conjugal visits etc...


You watch too many movies....Free meals, and TV i'll give ya...but prison isn't a fun place to be, what the lawyer said in Office Space is pretty much right on "Conjugal visits, i don't think so...When you get there, you need to either become someone's bitch, or kick someone's ass"

Michael Bolton says "great, i'm going to federal 'pound me up the ass' prison!"
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Postby Musi » Tue Mar 04, 2003 9:41 pm

I don't watch movies about prison. I was watching TLC one night about prisons trying to rehabilitate some of the most violent criminals and all of the things I mentioned (including a FREE college education) are offered to these people. I don't know why my taxes are going to reinforce the idea that you can rape, murder, steal, etc... and live off the rest of us.

I say if you kill someone, you should die. Get a trial, but if they're guilty, fry 'em! None of this "I'm looking for the REAL killer" BS that OJ pulled. If he wanted to find the real killer, he should look in the mirror. Or like the ahole that killed my sister's best friend. He got 7 YEARS!! THAT'S IT! For premeditated murder! If someone rapes another person, spay/neuter the rapist! Or just let them become someone bitch in prison. If you beat your wife and kids, have someone bigger than them kick the s@#t out of the offender. If you drown your 5 kids, you should be given the same treatment.

I just don't understand why our legal system allows someone to plead guilty just to get a reduced sentence. I always thought you should plead guilty if you did the crime. If you're innocent, plead innocent. :x It just makes me want to scream :evil:

I know I wanted to say more, but I forgot what else I was going to say. :roll:
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Postby Daz » Tue Mar 04, 2003 10:01 pm

getting to xisi's original post - i think it would be great. the singaporeans may be mercantile, but they have many badass computer geeks, and can be very dedicated to their passions, moreso than most americans. i say we go liberate our singaporean geek brethren on the way to fuck up the koreans.
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