A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."
Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
Darth Vader: "No! I am your father!"
Luke: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."
Darth Vader: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."
Luke: "NO!"
Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?"
Luke: "Threepio?"
Darth Vader: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was seven years old."
Luke: "No."
Darth Vader: "Seven years old. And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp."
Luke: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"
Darth Vader: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"
Luke: "Well, it's not my fault."
Darth Vader: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... waahhh wahhh!'"
Luke: "Shut up!"
Darth Vader: "You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!"
Luke: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"
Darth Vader: "Oh, for the love of the Emperor! 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!
Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.
Darth Vader: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine."
Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.
Darth Vader looks after him.
Darth Vader: "And get a haircut!"
(Stolen from some EQ dude.)
I thought it was funny as hell and should share.
The revised ending of Empire Strikes Back!
The Discussion board where this was originally posted has turned into a flame war. I love it.
http://pub13.ezboard.com/fprexus95980general.showMessage?topicID=16748.topic
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http://pub13.ezboard.com/fprexus95980general.showMessage?topicID=16748.topic
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<br /><a href="http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/tests/dumb/">How dumb are <i>you</i>?</a>
hehe now that was good..
hehe would be interesting to see how a 7-9 would look.. but so far lucas is saying not gonna happen
(ofcourse even if he did write or direct it then it would just be a bunch of crap with nothing entertaining like what you just wrote)
You know.. him building Threepio when he was a kid explains why he screws up all the time, never knows whats going on, and just plain out is useless at everything except for interpretting.. (ofcourse thats all he was designed for so i suppose he fill shis purpose)
[This message has been edited by Mishre (edited 05-25-2002).]
hehe would be interesting to see how a 7-9 would look.. but so far lucas is saying not gonna happen
(ofcourse even if he did write or direct it then it would just be a bunch of crap with nothing entertaining like what you just wrote)You know.. him building Threepio when he was a kid explains why he screws up all the time, never knows whats going on, and just plain out is useless at everything except for interpretting.. (ofcourse thats all he was designed for so i suppose he fill shis purpose)
[This message has been edited by Mishre (edited 05-25-2002).]
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