Scenario . . . .
Scenario . . . .
So, being the nice little office bee that I am . . . I go to work 10 minutes early. Deciding to spend quality time with some lemonade, I hit the break room.
On my way in, I am stopped by some guy, and we exchanged words. While not verbatim, it went something like this:
"Daz! (names changed for security purposes) Maybe you, being the strong, badass father figure I never had, could do me a favor?"
"Of course, my insignificant follower! What miracles can I perform for you today?"
"I am honored! The dreaded vending machine of St. Hershey has taken my coins, and will not give the M&M treats that I so crave!"
"WHAT!! Why . . . "
At this point, I kicked the machine as hard as I could with my size 15 Nike Basketball sneakers. Jordan baby. The machine didn't move! The piece of crap actually did not move when I kicked it!
Well, of course there was only one thing to do! I lowered a shoulder, and went to rock it's world. But the devious device managed to leak some fluid, and I slipped. Instead of a solid impact with my shoulder, my head crashed through the glass, shattering the pane and sending 5 shards of glass into my head, and blood and fragments all over the room.
While not the method that I had forseen, I DID salvage those M&M's for my grateful coworkers. However, a month later - still nursing my new, and very cool, scar; I was informed that I would not get the promotion I was hoping for, due to my history of breaking expensive company property with no regard to policies that clearly say "No putting your head through any company rented materials to salvage any yummy candy coated treats."
Who is at fault here? The co-worker, the vending machine, or the policies?
You make the call.
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-Daz "<^> (*¿*) <^>" Proudwolf
On my way in, I am stopped by some guy, and we exchanged words. While not verbatim, it went something like this:
"Daz! (names changed for security purposes) Maybe you, being the strong, badass father figure I never had, could do me a favor?"
"Of course, my insignificant follower! What miracles can I perform for you today?"
"I am honored! The dreaded vending machine of St. Hershey has taken my coins, and will not give the M&M treats that I so crave!"
"WHAT!! Why . . . "
At this point, I kicked the machine as hard as I could with my size 15 Nike Basketball sneakers. Jordan baby. The machine didn't move! The piece of crap actually did not move when I kicked it!
Well, of course there was only one thing to do! I lowered a shoulder, and went to rock it's world. But the devious device managed to leak some fluid, and I slipped. Instead of a solid impact with my shoulder, my head crashed through the glass, shattering the pane and sending 5 shards of glass into my head, and blood and fragments all over the room.
While not the method that I had forseen, I DID salvage those M&M's for my grateful coworkers. However, a month later - still nursing my new, and very cool, scar; I was informed that I would not get the promotion I was hoping for, due to my history of breaking expensive company property with no regard to policies that clearly say "No putting your head through any company rented materials to salvage any yummy candy coated treats."
Who is at fault here? The co-worker, the vending machine, or the policies?
You make the call.
------------------
-Daz "<^> (*¿*) <^>" Proudwolf
d) The employee that doesn't realize bodychecking office equpiment isn't appropriate professional behavior
BTW office buildings have to be APPROVED to get soda and snack machines above the first floor. They're so heavy, there have been instances of structural damage to the floor in some cases. They're DESIGNED to not move when you kick them :P
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- Ragorn
Jenera says 'i managed to match a little, ragorn's outfit is hideous.'
BTW office buildings have to be APPROVED to get soda and snack machines above the first floor. They're so heavy, there have been instances of structural damage to the floor in some cases. They're DESIGNED to not move when you kick them :P
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- Ragorn
Jenera says 'i managed to match a little, ragorn's outfit is hideous.'
I think you have a lawsuit on your hands. The machine should have had plexi glass and not real glass to prevent those kinds of injuries. The manufacture of the vending machine is at fault for your injuries.
Remember the hot coffee thing and McDonalds? Or the chicken head in the Kentucky fried chicken bucket? Same thing applies here.
(no I'm not being serious )
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So whad are we gonna do tonight Brain? Same thing we do everynight Pinky, TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
Remember the hot coffee thing and McDonalds? Or the chicken head in the Kentucky fried chicken bucket? Same thing applies here.
(no I'm not being serious )
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So whad are we gonna do tonight Brain? Same thing we do everynight Pinky, TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
hehe i think this is daz's funniest post ever :D
i'm not laughing at him, either. i'm serious! :P~ the tone of the story cracks me up .. little short sentences like "Jordan baby" interspersed here and there make me snicker.. heh! plus after the glass cut him up, he totally dismisses it and remarks that the m&ms were rescued.. as if that was important .. HAHAHAHA!
i'm not laughing at him, either. i'm serious! :P~ the tone of the story cracks me up .. little short sentences like "Jordan baby" interspersed here and there make me snicker.. heh! plus after the glass cut him up, he totally dismisses it and remarks that the m&ms were rescued.. as if that was important .. HAHAHAHA!
your group leader should have told you to use your heaviest shield and BASH not bodyslam!!! or was that a headbutt?? hrrmm ... spunch??
anyway im wondering if that $.60 m&m bag was worth the raise you'd be enjoying now??
funny funny detailing tho .. impressed with your story telling ability
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Ambar -= Beloved Matron =- Crimson Coalition
anyway im wondering if that $.60 m&m bag was worth the raise you'd be enjoying now??
funny funny detailing tho .. impressed with your story telling ability
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Ambar -= Beloved Matron =- Crimson Coalition
I realized now what went wrong. Humans do not have innate bodyslam, but it does allow us to fail.
Btw - about the plexiglass. I know I had 3 weeks paid vacation, they agreed not to fire me, and I promised that there would not be a third run-in with the vending machines :P
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-Daz "<^> (*¿*) <^>" Proudwolf
Btw - about the plexiglass. I know I had 3 weeks paid vacation, they agreed not to fire me, and I promised that there would not be a third run-in with the vending machines :P
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-Daz "<^> (*¿*) <^>" Proudwolf
"I promised that there would not be a third run-in with the vending machines"
Too funny.
You do know that the proper way to retieve waylaid sugary delights is to grasp the top of the machine rock it back and forth. Of course with your track record you would probably end up underneath a toppled machine looking like the remnints of Bigby’s grasp.
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Rausrh licks you.
Too funny.
You do know that the proper way to retieve waylaid sugary delights is to grasp the top of the machine rock it back and forth. Of course with your track record you would probably end up underneath a toppled machine looking like the remnints of Bigby’s grasp.
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Rausrh licks you.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Daz:
<B>I promised that there would not be a third run-in with the vending machines :P
</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
... which would make this run-in number two - what was the first??
Ishul
<B>I promised that there would not be a third run-in with the vending machines :P
</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
... which would make this run-in number two - what was the first??
Ishul
The first run in with the machines was why I could not rock the machine. They bolted them all down. I would shoulder tackle the vending machines, and make all the candy and soda's fall out. My personal best is 36 soda's with one hit.
So they bolted the machines down. (It was written off as faulty company equipment :P)
So, when I couldn't do that anymore, I just went through it.
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-Daz "<^> (*¿*) <^>" Proudwolf
So they bolted the machines down. (It was written off as faulty company equipment :P)
So, when I couldn't do that anymore, I just went through it.
------------------
-Daz "<^> (*¿*) <^>" Proudwolf
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Rausrh:
<B>"I promised that there would not be a third run-in with the vending machines"
Too funny.
You do know that the proper way to retieve waylaid sugary delights is to grasp the top of the machine rock it back and forth. Of course with your track record you would probably end up underneath a toppled machine looking like the remnints of Bigby?s grasp.
</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
that just made me think of the time homer got traped under the vending machine in the hospital, too funny
<B>"I promised that there would not be a third run-in with the vending machines"
Too funny.
You do know that the proper way to retieve waylaid sugary delights is to grasp the top of the machine rock it back and forth. Of course with your track record you would probably end up underneath a toppled machine looking like the remnints of Bigby?s grasp.
</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
that just made me think of the time homer got traped under the vending machine in the hospital, too funny
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Daz:
<B>I realized now what went wrong. Humans do not have innate bodyslam, but it does allow us to fail.
Btw - about the plexiglass. I know I had 3 weeks paid vacation, they agreed not to fire me, and I promised that there would not be a third run-in with the vending machines :P
</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
This is the funniest Daz has been in months.
Go daz!
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Aldavien tells you 'so um, what exactly have we gotten this trip, other than a pile of our own corpses?'
<B>I realized now what went wrong. Humans do not have innate bodyslam, but it does allow us to fail.
Btw - about the plexiglass. I know I had 3 weeks paid vacation, they agreed not to fire me, and I promised that there would not be a third run-in with the vending machines :P
</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
This is the funniest Daz has been in months.
Go daz!
------------------
Aldavien tells you 'so um, what exactly have we gotten this trip, other than a pile of our own corpses?'
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