I have a problem,:(

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Valke
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I have a problem,:(

Postby Valke » Sat Feb 16, 2002 4:08 am

Ok, Girlfriend doesnt like me mudding, "it's a waste of time" she says. Bla, no its not! How would one go about convincing her that its not, And better yet, How does one (hide) it from another! oo oo Ilove being sneaky!!
What are some of the excuses you guys use?
I love trying to explain to her that i cannot come over cause me corpse is about to rot! Or, that I just died in some group doing god knows what and If I dont go back and get my stuff that itll be impossible to get it alone! Fun Fun.

I tell her that this is my form of entertainment, and its free and doesnt hurt anybody! She seems to agree on a good day, but she is female and a good day can be a rare thing!. Image
Sarvis
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Postby Sarvis » Sat Feb 16, 2002 4:42 am

*sigh* Wish I had yer problem...

Bleh, just tell her she can either be pissed about it constantly or accept it. Seriously, if she's going to dump you or something because she doesn't like your form of entertainment then she's probably not worth keeping around.

Sarvis
Kobei
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Postby Kobei » Sat Feb 16, 2002 4:46 am

All ya gotta do...is get her to play ONCE...then the prob will be getting her off the puter!!!!

Kobie
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Postby Gormal » Sat Feb 16, 2002 5:24 am

i'd like to quote ragorn for a moment. "ass > brass."

if you are serious about dating a girl you should put her before any game...no matter how much you like it. Your mud time should drop substantially i'd imagine. Just make sure that she understands that it IS your hobby and even if she doesn't understand it that its your right to play....as long as it doesn't hurt your relationship
Cerlayne
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Postby Cerlayne » Sat Feb 16, 2002 6:22 am

does ya gf use the computer? as in talk with friends.. in chat rooms... etc etc.. human contact online? if not find a way to get her online and meet people... it's so hard to understand that people you meet online and talk to daily can become friends even if you've never met them... i happen to be very lucky.. my rl usband plays the mud.. and he totally understands when i'm 2 hours later to bed then i should be... at the same time.. koraw and i have certain things we do.. we pick a night to watch movies.. other nights we watch a tv show like enterprise... we will both turn down groups 2 hours before we log to make sure we can spend time together away from mud.. it's a compromise.. and one that works almost always for us... there have been exceptions.. but they are rare.. not sure if that helps at all...

Cerly 'can't zone quality time with koraw in 36 mins' L'ytria
Tesil
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Postby Tesil » Sat Feb 16, 2002 6:30 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Valke:
<B>
I tell her that this is my form of entertainment, and its free and doesnt hurt anybody! She seems to agree on a good day, but she is female and a good day can be a rare thing!. Image</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hrmmm....trick here is find something she does that you think is a waste of time. Like watching soap operas, reading tabloids, etc....and use that as ammo. But, don't forget if you care for her...you have to make time for her...or else someone else will.
Gindipple
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Postby Gindipple » Sat Feb 16, 2002 6:34 am

Marry here, mudding as grounds for a divorce I just can't see standing up in court Image
Tesil
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Postby Tesil » Sat Feb 16, 2002 6:41 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Gindipple:
Marry here, mudding as grounds for a divorce I just can't see standing up in court Image</font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

roflmao Image

But, spousal abandonment is. Image
Jorus
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Postby Jorus » Sat Feb 16, 2002 8:26 am

Rule #1: don't ask mudders for relationship advice!

*grin*

Best of luck though. Just make sure your priorities are straight (god, can't believe I said that!)

Regards,
Jorus
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Postby Kallinar » Sat Feb 16, 2002 8:54 am

Heh glad my girlfriend muds. Only problem I have is getting her to come to bed on time. :P
Oh well I take what I can get when I can get it at all Image

*whap me*

Kallinar
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Postby Guest » Sat Feb 16, 2002 9:41 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Valke:
She seems to agree on a good day, but she is female and a good day can be a rare thing!. Image</font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

One thing: you'd best make sure she doesn't get a whiff of that kinda attitude from you. It may be true or false, but letting a woman know you feel that way is a very bad idea.
Valke
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Postby Valke » Sat Feb 16, 2002 10:03 am

Hey some good suggestions!!, Ok, we have been togather for over 5 years, And we love each other alot. She doesnt understand what I am talking about when I speak of mudding, hell when I first heard of it I was clueless too, I have found a society in here that I cannot explain. GF doesnt show any interest in computers or chatting so it makes it harder for me to explain things to her, and there is no way im gonna get her to try it.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Valke:
She seems to agree on a good day, but she is female and a good day can be a rare thing!. This comment is more for laughs, sarcasm if you want to!
Sarell
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Postby Sarell » Sat Feb 16, 2002 10:33 am

It helps to point out that a real bunch of people are playing, like how if you play in a baseball team you can't jsut run off and leave the other players half way through during the game each weekend! But if your playing baseball everyday constantly...well...

My most unusal experience on sojourn was someone asking me if I could stick around to CR them instead of going to pick my partner up from the city at night... that is just ridiculous!
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Postby Kifle » Sat Feb 16, 2002 3:58 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Kobei:
<B> All ya gotta do...is get her to play ONCE...then the prob will be getting her off the puter!!!!

Kobie</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Kobie!!! You spelled your name wrong!

But, to be on topic, definately try to explain to her the reality side...that is what I have done and it limits the disagreements to a far lesser amount. I mean, we have our own economy; granted its not as good as it has been in the past *cough*, but it will work out eventually. I have also stated to my partner that it helps a lot because it is a lot easier to open up to a number of people online and show who you really are because you are not actually face to face with them, so in retrospect it is in some way more beneficial to some of us to communicate through typing rather than face to face.

Kifle "I am really not anti-social...I swear!" ButteryFingers
Eza
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Postby Eza » Sun Feb 17, 2002 4:32 am

*glares at Kallinar*

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Postby Guest » Sun Feb 17, 2002 6:07 am

Dealing with significant others and the mud can be a very Very tromatic experience if you A: dont have an understanding mate that will allow you to endulge in your hobbies, or B: are not understanding in how you manage your mudding time.

I've dealt with this alot myself over the years, and have seen alot of people go through it. From what you've posted, it sounds to me more like B than A.. She lets you mud, understands that it's your hobby, but gets upset when you miss hang-out times or ignore her becuase your CRing or too busy.

Try some time management. Try setting a schedule of time when your going to mud and when your going to hang out with her. If you know exactly when she expects you to be around, then you can govern your play time accordingly. If your supposed to go over to her house in two hours, don't be foolish and commit to a high-levle zone group going into even semi-dangerous territory. Try very Very hard not to miss your times with her, and give her the time any woman you claim to call yours, is due. Image You may find that by meeting your committments to her, she will feel less and less threatened by the mud, and even give you More time to play. Most of the women I know are like that, its a give and take fairness.

At the same time, demand your scheduled time to mud.. If she wants to hang out when you planned to be zoning on your time, she will have to understand that. If she doesnt, remind her of the deal, and ask for her patience (unless of course she really needs you for whatever reason).

Moral of the story: try to manage your time, and focus more on the fine art of compromise. It can take you a long way.

Miax



[This message has been edited by Miax (edited 02-17-2002).]
Valke
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Postby Valke » Sun Feb 17, 2002 7:26 am

Miax, Choice B indeed is a big part of the problem. Her and I talk tonight about it, I simply explained to her that mudding is something that i really enjoy! It is my main form of entertainment. I calculated the time I have spent on this mud, and averaged an amount, 2.6666 hours a day. Is this too much? Heck I compared it to her average TV time, and my time was lower. She seem to grasp that a little bit. But all in all I do feel a compramise is starting to surface!! However, getting her to join is out of the question! I thank you guys/gals for this input! it helps!!
Guest

Postby Guest » Sun Feb 17, 2002 8:03 am

It might be out of the question now, but work on it. Tell her the funny things that happen to ya on the mud. Tell her some of Yaya's jokes (well, ok, maybe not).

If she sees you're having a good time, in a way that she can understand, she's far more likely to eventually take an interest.
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Postby muma » Sun Feb 17, 2002 8:51 am

My ex bf was always on drugs so he didn't care about my mudding.... (i'm not saying he shoulda cared about the mud cos it's awesome! just saying he didn't care in general)
+ girls seem to need more attn. than guys i think.
if u care about her. don't let her go!
anyways, the Yaya's jokes should do the trick Image

[This message has been edited by muma (edited 02-17-2002).]
kiryan
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Postby kiryan » Mon Feb 18, 2002 7:50 am

if your girl dont like you mudding, then either your addicted or shes not a good fit for your personality. figure out which, or if your an asshole ignore it till the problem literally goes away..
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Postby Zellin » Mon Feb 18, 2002 8:55 am

Sadly, Grp, I found that the best option when balancing mud and a relationship is....not mudding every day. Yeah...I know...but I'm hoping when they finally @&%$! get broadband set up here my gf and I can mud at the same time. Sad that that can't work out for you. Be a good Grp and hug gf. Love the gf. And then when you guys come out for a visit we'll gang up on her and make her see the light. Mwuahahahahahah!
Valke
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Postby Valke » Mon Feb 18, 2002 9:34 am

Kiyrin, Yes im addicted, But I would rather be addicted to this than to, lets say TV, or Hanging at your local pub, Now I do have control over my addiction, its called lack of sleep!! na kiddn. I do get out of hand when i am in an interesting group doin some zone. Please dont take me as being an asshole, After all I am asking for some help on the matter, to help clear things up a bit. I just simply requested a little advice to help me explain things a little better to someone who thinks its a total waste of time. And the advise flowed into nicely!

Zellin, ahh man I miss ya, Ill be seeying ya soon, GF graduated we have are hearts set on leaving in August as planned, Job fair will bring us to Portland in April. Hey thanks for the support, and too, I hug the heck out of my GF, maybe a little too much, ah oh well. See ya around! Image
Jasix Prowlingwolf
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Postby Jasix Prowlingwolf » Mon Feb 18, 2002 9:58 am

Maybe I'm wrong but damn if I had some warm skin to touch instead of a keybaord playing games with silly childish boys and girls who i don't always enjoy being around I would quit this silly game and be fighting with my girl friend instead of fighting with some tool I have zero interested in....

This game is highly addictive as we all know and I would have to say I am as addicted as anyone (fucking up between 4 and 6 years of my life due to a silly game is about as addicted as anyone should get).

Picking days to/not to Mud prob a great idea in theory... but your dealing with a woman, monday does not mean monday it means today.... And you promised to do it today...

Even tho i would confess that mudding has changed my life in a lot of positive ways, it has just as much if not more so fucked it up beyond repair in many others.

Dont try and explain to her what it is you love about mudding but work out if you love mudding as much as you love making her happy, that is the ONLY true answer to your question. You really can't have both, bring your girl to the mud, odds are she will be as addicted in no time and start to neglect you (see question 1) or she will eventually fall for one of us sexy aussie blokes and leave you anyway :P

Solution:

Trade in your computer and internet access for a new waterbed and make waves!!
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Postby Karikhan » Mon Feb 18, 2002 11:05 am

Oh here is one of my favorite topics!! And I walked into it too late!!

First let me say ... the references(sp) to typical women .. just do NOT apply to me ... I am soooo atypical it's not funny .. I am the one on til all hours of the night on a CR or doing a zone .. got to be up at 0415 for work? and still up mudding at 0200... Been there done that!!

Hubby and I fight alll the time about my mudding ... he HATES it!! Course he spends 18 out of the 24 hours he is off behind the TV (my arguement? ... whats the difference)

I have tried and tried to get him to mud with me, to no avail ... course his insistence upon rolling a human warrior (gag gag)when i am evil Ogre Shaman is a big factor too....

Years and Years ago I got him to play with me when we were still playing Tele-Arena ... He rolled a (gag) Human warrior ... and became addicted .. so much that we hadda fight over the computer .. giggle ... well for some reason or other i rerolled his warrior (think i rolled him decent stats for one ..cause he accepted the very first roll) .. and i made him like barbarian or something whatever hitter race was available on MajorBBs :P .. well he hated it cause he hadda start over (keeping in mind back then when u died .. you DIED .. losing all your eq and 1/2 your bank account) ... so anyway i think thats half his trouble about mudding now ...

he also finds the muds too *unreal* (rofl) ... i remember rolling his dumbass human warrior on basternae ... and was happily pleveling him ... till we left town and he got pkilled (:P) .... he also gets impatient and wants to kill the big stuff at first (young grasshopper...you must first crawl before you learn to walk) ....

Also ... If we had a life, I'd probably stop mudding .. but ... he wants me to stop mudding to watch TV with him ad nauseum .. and i hate TV ... (TV on .. eyes close)

I know I'm rambling but I wanted to get everything out .. giggle ... those who know me well know this is ME ....

I do need a few pointers in the *why cant you log off and go to bed* thing ... cause *well hubby .. im the only stoner/healer atm, the group would die without me* ... doesnt work ... nor does the *because im in the middle of a !tele zone dammit thats why!!*


HELP!!!

and sneaking around to mud .. isnt worth it :P specially if you get married .. you will never mud

just mud now and deal with the hassle later Image (but do resolve it before you marry!!!)

-Jen the disgruntled



[This message has been edited by Karikhan (edited 02-18-2002).]
Valke
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Postby Valke » Wed Feb 20, 2002 3:32 pm

Haha, she said buy a laptop and bring it with us everywhere so I can mud,!! haha
Gindipple
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Postby Gindipple » Wed Feb 20, 2002 3:45 pm

Heh, I use the TV vs MUD argument all the time.
I can't stand most things on TV and she can't stand the mud, so it works great if your woman sees how they are similar in that fashion.
One big difference is TV has commercials, if you're zoning hardcore you'll be lucky to get a commercial break to go say hi to her.
Your options on that are limited, best thing you can do is drop back to casual mudder from hardcore.
Then at least you can get up and go chat with her for a bit when group takes a break.
Nokar
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Postby Nokar » Wed Feb 20, 2002 8:51 pm

Just roll her up a warrior, outfit her, and tell her stay in this area and bash and kill everything.. after about 20 minutes of this she'll be addicted... Ask my wife she knows =P
L8r,


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Zoldren
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Postby Zoldren » Fri Feb 22, 2002 4:42 pm

My Gf complained I "was on the computer" to much..

I gave her a ring and asked her...

Now she says "you getting on the comptuer?"

I say yup

She either starts 1) cleaning house 2) cooking dinner 3) doing homework

Who says you can't train women? :P
*Duck*
Zoldren Pink Blindness Slutomatic
Zanalista
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Postby Zanalista » Fri Feb 22, 2002 8:34 pm

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Valke:
[B]Ok, Girlfriend doesnt like me mudding, "it's a waste of time" she says. Bla, no its not! How would one go about convincing her that its not, And better yet, How does one (hide) it from another! oo oo Ilove being sneaky!!

Excuses won't work and sneaking around only causes you more problems,
I have to agree wif Kobei, He and his wife both mud, Myself and my hubby both mud...get her into it....give her an afternoon to get hooked...then you 0nly have to fight over who gets puter time ;>
I met my hubby online and we have been on sojourn toril sojourn for over 6 years and married over 5! hopin the little elflings don't take over the keyboard before we can get another and both be on at the same time!
be honest with her, love her if you want her...and get her into the game....just don't let her near Jasix!
Zannie the Geographically Challenged Elf

[This message has been edited by Zanalista (edited 02-22-2002).]
Karikhan
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Postby Karikhan » Sat Feb 23, 2002 3:24 am

ROFL Zan!!!!!!!

I will let that ride on its own merits *wink*

(Btw i used to be Shalia Prowlingwolf :P)
Zanalista
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Postby Zanalista » Mon Feb 25, 2002 8:37 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Karikhan:
<B>ROFL Zan!!!!!!!

I will let that ride on its own merits *wink*

(Btw i used to be Shalia Prowlingwolf :P)</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hi Shal! I use to be Zandrea D'Eliathanos (or was it Z? heh mudwife of Morianthis the since long dead Ranger ) RL wife of Telor now Telarean ;>
Zoldren
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Postby Zoldren » Tue Aug 20, 2002 2:52 pm

just found out... if you marry her, you have no more problems, she figures she owns you so she doesnt care whut you do *whistle*

<< back from honeymoon
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Postby Rausrh » Tue Aug 20, 2002 5:37 pm

*picturing Zoldren with his ears notched and a brand on his ass*

Two options: Either get her to want to play as much as you do.(This species is very rare); or you have to lessen the amount of time you play.

You could try to claim that you have to spend x number of hours online inorder to keep you membership in S.O.G.A.F(Society Of Geeks And Freaks). Claim its a civil rights thing.

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