EVERQUEST CREATES A TRAIL OF CYBERWIDOWS

Archive of the Sojourn3 General Discussion Forum.
Gindipple
Sojourner
Posts: 676
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: O' Fallon, MO. USA
Contact:

EVERQUEST CREATES A TRAIL OF CYBERWIDOWS

Postby Gindipple » Tue Feb 13, 2001 4:55 am

I found this on a news site, found it rather funny myself.

By Joe Salkowski
Tribune Media Services
February 5, 2001

Cheated on? You're in good company. Left in the lurch for someone with
more money? Hey, it happens.

Sure, it hurts being lied to, locked out or just flat dumped. But you can take
comfort in knowing you're one of many who have been though the same
thing.

But what if you lose your lover to a video game? That's what happened to
Manda Erickson, a 24-year-old mother from Chippewa Falls, Wis. She says
her fiance, the father of her 7-month-old daughter, has abandoned her for a
Net-connected game called EverQuest. Is she exaggerating? You decide.

She says her fiance stays logged into the fantasy role-playing game for as
many as 20 hours a day, leaving her and her daughter alone at the dinner
table and everywhere else. He was in the delivery room for the girl's birth.
But he brought along a laptop computer so he could help a less-experienced
player kill something called "Dorn."

"My fiance and I have no relationship," Erickson says. "I speak, he grunts. I
ask him to do something, I do it myself. I want to go back to work, but I do
not trust him alone with our daughter, simply because when I am here she will
be crying and he will not do anything about it."

She may feel alone, but only in real life. Online, sad to say, she has got plenty
of company. There's Mel, a 31-year-old Seattle resident who's convinced her
live-in boyfriend cares more about EverQuest than he does about her. And
Dee, 20, who cries herself to sleep while her boyfriend spends his nights
jacked into the game. And Gidel, who moved from Europe to the United
States to spend time with someone she met playing the game herself.

She returned home after he refused to move their relationship offline. "Four
days ago I asked him to choose between me and EQ," she wrote. "He has
been on EQ ever since." They call themselves EverQuest widows. When they
can find a few free minutes at the computer, they get together in online
discussion groups to swap stories.

"My fiance has never had any other addictions," Erickson wrote. "Before EQ,
he was hardly on the computer at all." The story is the same for others among
the 250,000 people who pay $9.95 a month to play EverQuest, an online
fantasy.

Players direct elves, gnomes and other characters through fantasy lives in a
massive online world they share with tens of thousands of people at a time.
Like most addictions, you can't win at EverQuest--you just buy in deeper and
deeper.

There's no ultimate battle in which you kill something, trumpets play and you
get on with your life. Rather, the goal is simply to build a good "life," gaining
experience, buying equipment and keeping a step ahead of everyone else.

That takes time--and lots of it. Fans of such games praise their social aspect,
and with good reason. They create a unique environment where people can
meet like-minded souls and share experiences. But for someone who has
friends and family, the fantasy world of EverQuest--"EverCrack," as some
widows call it--can cause serious problems.
Ruhr
Sojourner
Posts: 188
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2001 6:01 am

Postby Ruhr » Tue Feb 13, 2001 6:09 am

Must be a moron, didn't take me too long to get tired of EQ--which has 1/1000th of the depth of sojourn, in all areas from combat to zone complexity to interaction.
Saitcho
Sojourner
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2001 6:01 am
Location: New Orleans, LA, USA
Contact:

Postby Saitcho » Tue Feb 13, 2001 6:50 am

actually there was an article i read about a guy who actually forgot about his kid and the child starved to death, because he was playing everquest. its sad, but i mean come on, the guy was an idiot, as was the guy above apparently. anyway, yeah everquest lost interest for me several times, its a good game but its just not sojourn.

saitcho
Zuurn Shatter Skull
Sojourner
Posts: 110
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2001 6:01 am
Location: West Plains, MO USA
Contact:

Postby Zuurn Shatter Skull » Tue Feb 13, 2001 4:19 pm

I'm sorry but that is just plain pathetic. I never did play EQ 'cause I didnt want to pay but I did play Sojourn and I confess I did spent ALOT of time on it but, god. If my gf ever wanted to do something I didnt just say, 'No, I wana MUD!' I would go do it, and anyone who chooses a computer fantasy world over their wife/gf/fiance/whatever is just stupid.

-Z
Jenera
Sojourner
Posts: 533
Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Warsaw, Indiana
Contact:

Postby Jenera » Tue Feb 13, 2001 7:35 pm

heh heh
this article is quite interesting
I'm not married but I'm as close to an EQ widow as you can get
My boyfriend is a lvl 56 bard on the Povar Server and although he has gotten better of late
He goes to work and as soon as he gets home, he makes a beeline for his computer to turn EverCrack on
I find myself sitting in my chair in the office just watching him play for hours because id rather have the silent company Image
on weekends he will play between 12-16 hours
weekdays he plays 5-8 hours straight
with breaks only to get a drink or go to the bathroom
i usually have to bring his food to him or he'll forget to eat
and since we only have one computer in the house, i get it during the day when of course, almost nobody is online and maybe once or twice a week will i be able to steal the computer away from him :P
asking him to help me do something falls on deaf ears until i do it myself (i.e. vacuuming, washing dishes, other stupid stuff that needs to be done around the house)
I try and have a conversation with him and he answers with grunts and the famous uh-huh's *snicker*
I still love him though
and if i bug him enough, he'll turn the game off and take me out
he always does after i feel so lonely i have a crying fit that i cant control *nod me*
hehehe
Nokie
Sojourner
Posts: 786
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
Contact:

Postby Nokie » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:37 am

I'm doing a research paper on MMORPGS, could you post the URL to that article?

Thanks!

Nokie Quickfingers!
Corth
Sojourner
Posts: 6002
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2001 6:01 am
Location: NY, USA

Postby Corth » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:46 am

Gosh..

All this talk makes me think I'm going into the wrong profession. When I graduate I can look forward to working about 70 hours a week (not to mention 12 hours a week commuting back and forth). I'd love to mud 5-7 hours a day. But then I guess I'd have to quit sleeping.

How do they do it?

Gene.
Gindipple
Sojourner
Posts: 676
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: O' Fallon, MO. USA
Contact:

Postby Gindipple » Wed Feb 14, 2001 1:36 am

For Nokie http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/printedition/article/0,2669,SAV-0102050003,FF.html
Also try going to www.google.com and searching for everquest widow, it turned up several things.

Gindipple.
Vigis
Sojourner
Posts: 865
Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Postby Vigis » Wed Feb 14, 2001 2:46 am

I'm thinking those people musta been stupid.
When Sojourn was up I'll admit that I skipped out on a date with my GF, but it was only cause I was involved in a really really nasty CR. (I Promise) *starts twitching with the need to get his mud fix*
Wobb
Sojourner
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 6:01 am
Contact:

Postby Wobb » Wed Feb 14, 2001 4:18 am

OMG.

I recall skipping a few classes in college, after a particular 8 hour brass trip. I was up until dawn, and was ready to kiss my corpse and EQ goodbye, when people started waking up (or maybe it was those swedes just getting home from work don't recall!) and We got our stuff back. I had my eq in hand by 7:50 am and my first class was at 8. I shut off the lights and hit the futon. After all what's more important? Sleep or that damn psych lecture? Hahahaha!

I've never skipped on a chance to do something with a person in real life for something on the mud. (But I did use the mud as an excuse not to see a chick I didn't want to see! "No I'm sorry I can't go out with you, I play an online game every day for at least 6 hours and until I get a cloak of the elvenkind so I can sneak drag corpses as my dwarven cleric I really can't afford to start a relationship") Hehe I just realized how low that really is. I'm just as bad as everyone else. *pout*

Wobb
Bibbe
Sojourner
Posts: 83
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Örebro
Contact:

Postby Bibbe » Wed Feb 14, 2001 11:28 pm

eumm

Perhaps i can find a reason why we broke up my gf and i...
Bleah frightening thoughts...
Jenera
Sojourner
Posts: 533
Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Warsaw, Indiana
Contact:

Postby Jenera » Sun Feb 18, 2001 7:31 am

I was thinking about that article a couple of days after i posted "A day in the life of my boyfriend" :P
Sheesh i love him to death and you will all get a freaked out ooc the day he decides he wants me forever but I don't just hate Everquest because im a lover of text based muds
Those on exile know i spend a decent amount of time on ooc bitching about how lacking my relationship is at times
and i just spent a very tiring and miserable week as my bf made his life work and everquest to prepare for a tournament he was obsessed over
Ive also noticed that most guys who say that they will give up a game to spend time with those they love are usually single :P
I often tell myself its his only hobby and i know what its like considering ive spent days at a time mudding without food sleep or human contact
But as I get older, I want to be more involved in real life a bit more, even if its spending a day in the park instead of sitting at a computer Image
My bf hasn't reached that point and probably won't for another 10 years, hehe
Needless to say, I have dreams of deleting Everquest from this computer and using the disks for target practice *cackle*

Jennie
moritheil
Sojourner
Posts: 4845
Joined: Wed Jan 31, 2001 6:01 am

Postby moritheil » Wed Feb 21, 2001 5:39 am

It was Aradune of Toril that created Everquest with permission from the Forgers (or actually, Miax/Lloth), right? It's kind of interesting to be able to say that you've met the creator of Everquest online... sure gets those people to pay attention! (and yes, I recall we spoke briefly twice)

Speaking of which, is that guy coming back? It'd be funny to say 'You foos play EQ, but the creator plays Sojourn. Sojourn is the REAL stuff! AHAHAHAHA!'

:P
Grintor
Sojourner
Posts: 285
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2001 6:01 am
Location: san jose, ca, usa
Contact:

Postby Grintor » Thu Mar 22, 2001 3:01 am

Actually I dont find this hard to believe at all.

I was first introduced to toril by my fiance, who was referred by an online friend. she eventually left me for several reaons, but what contributed to it was that the only way i had of communicating with her was to log onto the game and send her a tell 'can i call you?'.

With everquest, however, you have a different animal. the game was aimed at the masses, the majority of whom give blank stares when you talk about a MUD. I swear i think i'm the only toril player on the torvonn server.

The above is also reason why toril/sojourn will always be a better place to play. It's not just the content that makes the game, it's the people you play with. Toril/sojourn players are smarter, more mature and infinetly more patient and considerate than your average EQ player.
Dalar
Sojourner
Posts: 4905
Joined: Sun Feb 25, 2001 6:01 am

Postby Dalar » Thu Mar 22, 2001 3:40 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by moritheil:
<B>It was Aradune of Toril that created Everquest with permission from the Forgers (or actually, Miax/Lloth), right? It's kind of interesting to be able to say that you've met the creator of Everquest online... sure gets those people to pay attention! (and yes, I recall we spoke briefly twice)

Speaking of which, is that guy coming back? It'd be funny to say 'You foos play EQ, but the creator plays Sojourn. Sojourn is the REAL stuff! AHAHAHAHA!'

:P</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I kinda think i know why, but why did Aradune have to ask permission from Miax/Lloth to make EQ?
Raiwen
Sojourner
Posts: 430
Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Atlanta, Ga USA
Contact:

Postby Raiwen » Thu Mar 22, 2001 4:03 am

Such is the case with all Unix based creations. I've found that when I'm interviewing programmers, I'll ask them what a makefile is and how they use stdin and stdout. If they can answer, I know I've found someone who can *do* something.

I think most people started Sojourn like this, but I'm not sure (at least my guild buddies started this way). When I started mudding on Sojourn, I had to telnet from a IBM VMS machine. I dialed into the University and connected via a telnet from a Gandalf unit (if I was in a lab, I could use the tn3270 emulator). I actually created a DOS based modem terminal to help me mud.

In VMS when you reached a full screen of text, you had to hit PF1 (escape-period). This SUCKED during a big fight. So I made a modem terminal written in borland pascal. It would automatically dial out to the University and connect me to the IBM. I'd log in from there manually and start a telnet to Sojourn. The modem terminal would search for the text (ansi-code) which would print the "full" (or next page) message which would appear in the lower right hand corner of the screen. The terminal would automatically send escape-period and then IGNORE the clear screen ANSI sequence which followed. So I basically got my full scrolling telnet for the MUD! Image It also change to VGA 80x43 text mode, so I could see more text on the screen.

Later, the university finally gave us students access to one of the Sun boxes. I got my account, grabbed a copy of tintin++, compiled it, and I was majorly hooked. This is when myself and a few other sojournites would sit in the engineering lab all night long. That morning when the 8am class came in, we would pack our stuff and goto class. That rocked as we could group and just yell across the room ("hey! rescue me!"). Got a job at the University lab. That job was so easy. I got paid to basically mud!

Later, I got a hold of Linux. I think it was like 1.2.3 er something. Loaded it from floppies on my 386. I used this for a long time to mud from. Several jobs later and like kernal 2.0.something, sojourn closed it's doors. At the time I would mud over dialup, but using the Linux box at the office. This gave me better latency. My triggers were fast because of that, though I only used basic survival triggers like stand-after-bash triggers. I never really had heal triggers, though I had tons of aliases.

I'll basically play the same way when sojourn3 starts. Though instead of a telnet session from a linux box to another linux box, it'll be a ssh session to a linux box.

Long winded post I guess. But I think most of the old players started this way. Much different than most of your EQ players.
Trogar
Sojourner
Posts: 138
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2001 6:01 am

Postby Trogar » Thu Mar 22, 2001 5:30 am

OMG.. That initial post is funny. That is a very extreame case, although I do recall a few WIERD cases I heard in my time on toril/soj.

To be honest, and its hard for anyone to deny this, but anyone with a ptime of 30+ days surely must be able to relate a little bit. Let alone people who have major ptimes.

Tro
ssar
Sojourner
Posts: 1446
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Newcastle, NSW, Australia
Contact:

Postby ssar » Thu Mar 22, 2001 7:10 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Jenera:
<B>heh heh
this article is quite interesting
I'm not married but I'm as close to an EQ widow as you can get
My boyfriend is a lvl 56 bard on the Povar Server and although he has gotten better of late
He goes to work and as soon as he gets home, he makes a beeline for his computer to turn EverCrack on
I find myself sitting in my chair in the office just watching him play for hours because id rather have the silent company Image
on weekends he will play between 12-16 hours
weekdays he plays 5-8 hours straight
with breaks only to get a drink or go to the bathroom
i usually have to bring his food to him or he'll forget to eat
and since we only have one computer in the house, i get it during the day when of course, almost nobody is online and maybe once or twice a week will i be able to steal the computer away from him :P
asking him to help me do something falls on deaf ears until i do it myself (i.e. vacuuming, washing dishes, other stupid stuff that needs to be done around the house)
I try and have a conversation with him and he answers with grunts and the famous uh-huh's *snicker*
I still love him though
and if i bug him enough, he'll turn the game off and take me out
he always does after i feel so lonely i have a crying fit that i cant control *nod me*
hehehe</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


OMG Jenera.. how insanely familiar that sounds..

I hope my fiancee still loves me, even going thru all that shit sometimes, and more.

I'm not always that bad, gotta make a concerted effort to take care of her more often, to offset the hunting.

(I've never played EQ btw, this is entirely based on sojourn/toril, and i spose Exile to a degree also Image

Laterz,

Mogr.
Jasix Prowlingwolf
Sojourner
Posts: 258
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Forster Keys, NSW Australia
Contact:

Postby Jasix Prowlingwolf » Thu Mar 22, 2001 7:39 am

Amen Mogr

lest i kick ya butt :P
Jenera
Sojourner
Posts: 533
Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Warsaw, Indiana
Contact:

Postby Jenera » Thu Mar 22, 2001 7:43 pm

Here's an update on my ever obsessed bf
He is now lvl 58
He still plays everynight usually from 8pm to 1am
Ive bugged him less about the game and so he occasionally will stop and log off even if its to cuddle with me on the couch and speak about the day's events which makes me extremely happy
hehe, its all male stubbornness i tell you!
anyway, i get him to play as much as i can because that way he'll be level 60 that much faster and i dont have to watch him do 5 hour exp groups every night
at least when he doesnt have to lvl anymore, he can just do raids and those dont happen every night Image

This has been an update from the Everquest widow society

Jennie Image
Elscint
Sojourner
Posts: 84
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Fremont, WI, USA

Postby Elscint » Thu Mar 22, 2001 8:03 pm

WOW!

I may have been a rather addicted player but after reading these posts.. WOW! People who ignore their children? Completely ignore your significant other? Insanity. I have a girlfriend, we live together, yes she sometimes has a complaint or two about how much time I may spend playing a game (I've tried EQ and don't really like it) I generally play Icewind Dale or MUDS. Most of the time I do try to create characters on muds that I'm able to walk away from for a minute or two incase she should have something I need to help her with. Like if I'm playing a bard it's gonna matter that I walked away for 30 seconds to get that pan from the top shelf or something. The idea that someone could actually starve their child or ignore their crying child because they have some need to play a game is sick. There will soon be support groups out there for this addiction right along with AA and NA there will be EA (Everquest Anonymous subtitled no we don't mean you aren't showing your class and level). I feel terrible for those who must suffer through what must surely be a horrific ordeal in those relationships, I only hope that these people realize they need to make an effort to get away from the game to interact with other people.

Elscint Hairytoes (The Halfling Sorcerer)
Luke
Tinnel
Sojourner
Posts: 83
Joined: Fri Feb 23, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Okinawa, Japan

Postby Tinnel » Fri Mar 23, 2001 1:40 am

Well I find this rather interesting. I started Sojourn on last wipe about 2.5 years ago, and when it shut down I plunged right into Basternae. I have a wife and two step-daughters. I am now stationed in Japan and have been here for 6 weeks unaccompanied (family stayed in states). My wife HATED, I mean hated MUD's, even turned my comp off once while solo clericing Mansion vault, OWIE. But now I am faced with a divorce, and I'm realizing that nothing, I mean nothing is more important in life than someone wonderful who loves you, and if you don't listen to them you WILL lose them. Was it the only cause of my divorce? possibly not, but it helped I'm sure. I'm very excited about S3 and will play here, but nowhere near the level I used to play, RL has become more important, but MUDing is always a wonderful release.

Tinnel Caernsen
Trogar
Sojourner
Posts: 138
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2001 6:01 am

Postby Trogar » Fri Mar 23, 2001 3:18 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Tinnel:
My wife HATED, I mean hated MUD's, even turned my comp off once while solo clericing </font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bwahahah.. funny story.. I don't remember who it was, but I use to have this warrior that use to hang out with me on a semi-regular basis...

So when you get spanked in a zone, of course its like 2am Image.. So sometimes this guy would have to stay up late to CR, which usually isn't a big deal depending on the zone.

So one night, we were CRing in Cave City, and he told me his wife was swearing at me saying 'fuck is it that Trogar guy again!'

Bwhah.. wives can hate more then their spouses Image

Tro
Karikhan
Sojourner
Posts: 471
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2001 6:01 am

Postby Karikhan » Fri Mar 23, 2001 8:27 am

anyone ever have to try to explain to neighbors what a mud is?? what the HELL can you tell them

a coworker asked me yesterday, and thank GOD he had heard of everquest (or seen in on the shelf at a game store)
azzixxenae
Sojourner
Posts: 154
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Warner Robins GA

Postby azzixxenae » Fri Mar 23, 2001 6:38 pm

azzixxenae group says "damn guys, i know we're doing invasion, but my wife is trying to lure me away from the mud for sex"

azzixxenae detaches from reality.

azzixxenae throws his head back and cackles with insane glee.

azzixxenae group says "BRB in a sec or two"

cherzra sighs

jegzed says "damn globe better not go out"

azzixenae group says "back"

*shrug*

good posts. i'll just say that with some spouses the only acceptable compromise is to stop MUD'ng all together. no matter what compromises you make as a player/spouse (i.e not playing when your spouse is at home, limiting ptime to 1-2 hrs 3x a week, etc) it will not be good enough until you do what you're told. I feel that in those instances the MUD isn't a cause, but rather an excuse to argue/bitch about the relationship.

Anywho, if some of you are like WTF is he talking about, it doesn't matter I got my point across to whom I intended.

cheers,
azz
santego
Sojourner
Posts: 75
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Gloomhaven, Underdark, Faerun
Contact:

Postby santego » Fri Mar 23, 2001 6:40 pm

Raiwen wrote:
>I'll basically play the same
>way when sojourn3 starts. Though instead of >a telnet session from a linux box to >another linux box, it'll be a ssh session >to a linux box.

Problem here if you have a slow or choppy connection. ssh sends 1 character per packet, and if things get laggy you will lose a lot of text. Not sure if that's because of i/o buffers on the machine or something to do with the protocol. Think its the machine.... I'm going to open up a little hole for me to mud through at work so I can telnet Image
Raiwen
Sojourner
Posts: 430
Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Atlanta, Ga USA
Contact:

Postby Raiwen » Sat Mar 24, 2001 11:01 pm

I ussually SSH into a machine on the external network at the office. THEN telnet to the mud. It seems to bring me less lag.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by santego:
<B>Raiwen wrote:

Problem here if you have a slow or choppy connection. ssh sends 1 character per packet, and if things get laggy you will </B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Vylare
Sojourner
Posts: 119
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2001 6:01 am
Contact:

Postby Vylare » Mon Mar 26, 2001 10:43 pm

Jenera,
Could you icq me?
I need to talk to you about something Image
2189980

Return to “S3 General Discussion Archive”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests