A Challenge to Budding Intelligencers

[Gurns]

Greetings! It has been recently suggested to me by... well, a certain personage, you don't need to know who... that it would be good to provide useful information to, well, another personage you don't need to know. And how I'm going to get that information to that other personage is none of your business, either.

Anyway! The information would be facts about the Vile One and his armies. This information is to be found in my tales, as well as the tales of others. Yes, I did inquire as to why they didn't just listen to my tales when I told them, or read my tales after they were posted, and was rudely informed that they had no time to spend that way. Really!

So. They want a summary. A list. Of true facts only. Or of any speculations that seem most likely to be accurate, though those speculations should clearly be labeled as such. I have done much re-reading of my tales, and the tales of others, and frankly, the number of facts known about the Vile One and his armies seems quite limited. Many tales contain no such information, while other tales may contain but a single fact. The tales contain much speculation, and much of that has been shown to be incorrect.

Well, I clearly don't have time for such. A Master bard such as myself is busy, busy, busy. Thus, I am contracting it out, as it were. If you are interested in this task, speak to me. No doubt you will want to do it for the pure joy of it – imagine, reading my tales again! As well as those tales written by others, of course. Still, if you do wish some slight remuneration for your time and effort, I have managed to save a small store of coin. Perhaps a small payment for each fact and the name of the tale(s) in which it is found? Perhaps a smaller payment for some assurance that no facts are to be found in a certain tale? Well, we would have to agree on something. Ahead of time.

There is certainly an opportunity here for one, several, even many people. Although my savings are somewhat limited. Still, if you are interested, contact me!

Gurns

[Clan Blindhammer]

I say ye get yer skinny 'ead out o yer skinny tankard o' elf juice fer a day and do whats been givin' to ye fer doin' ye lazy half-breed alchyholic.