What is your favorite response to telemarketers?

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Xolan
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What is your favorite response to telemarketers?

Postby Xolan » Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:12 pm

I just got done playing with a newspaper company's telemarketers. They first asked me if I had a subscription. I replied "yes, is something wrong with my subscription?" she said no.. there was a special offer.. yada yada. When I asked what the special offer was.. she said it was only for new customers. So I tell her I dont have a subscription, that I lied. She was very quiet for a few seconds, then continues....

31 cents a day blah blah blah, and I cut her off in the middle of a big painful speech telling her that I get my news from their website. She states that the website includes only highlights and only 10 percent of the newspaper.

I tell her that they would have to up the ante of their newspaper to get me to pay them and stop visiting cnn.com, my comcast news, and the other local papers's websites. Or something to that effect.

Anyhow, it wasn't that funny of a gag, but I did get to screw with em a lil.

What kinda funny things have you done to YOUR telemarketers?
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Ambar
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Postby Ambar » Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:21 pm

tell them to hold on and set the phone down ... im boring :(


or tell them i am a single mom and would they like to come pay my bills while i bought what they were selling
Llaaldara
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Postby Llaaldara » Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:38 pm

I don't get actual people calling anymore, just automated ones. We just put them on hold and let them waist their own time.

My all time favorite response would have to be from Sienfeld, when Jerry answered one and said, "Wow, that sounds like a really terrific deal. Why don't you give me your home phone number and I'll call you back about it when I've thought it over. Oh you don't like getting calls at home? NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL! *click*"

I used to use it myself when actual people called.

Another good one is just acting like you're a kid or mentaly handicapped or just insane. Ya know, like scream out that there are bugs crawling all over you or something nutso like that. :)
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Postby Khemed » Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:39 pm

I'm sorry, I don't speak Japanese.

At least it worked in Japan.
teflor the ranger
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Postby teflor the ranger » Tue Jul 19, 2005 12:42 am

I threaten suit and the FTC.

http://www.donotcall.gov/
Ashiwi
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Postby Ashiwi » Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:30 am

If you start to say these words immediately, as soon as they start their spiel "I want you to take me off your calling list, I want you to verify that you have taken me off your calling list, and I want your first and last name so that I can make reference to it with the FTC should your company ever call me back again..." they'll usually hang up before you even get the words "calling list" out. A lot of them try to hang up before you can say it, because if they don't hear you say it, they don't have to do it.

And no, I don't feel bad because they're "just trying to do a job." As far as I'm concerned, they took a job harrassing me in my home or at my job, and they should have thought of that before they called my number.
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Postby Lilira » Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:32 am

90% of them are in India these days anyway. Yay outsourcing. *mutter*

My fave ones are the automated hangups.. get 30 of those a day and when someone is finally on there I don't even let them get the spiel out.

As soon as they do the Is this Mrs (last name) I say yes, take us off your list not interested.
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Postby Ragorn » Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:55 am

I say "no thank you" and hang up the phone. Having worked in a call center (albeit an inbound one), I don't really feel like I have to intentionally make someone else's job harder. I don't hide the menus and switch seats with my friends at a restaurant to frustrate the server, don't really see why I should make a telemarketer's job any more difficult. It's already a crappy job.
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Doublepost -oops

Postby Grumdikanikus » Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:11 pm

sorry
Last edited by Grumdikanikus on Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Grumdikanikus
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The best one I heard was for Credit Card Companies

Postby Grumdikanikus » Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:11 pm

When they ask you if you would like to get their new Blah Blah Blah Credit card, you tell them to rush to it to you because the last Card Company just yanked your card for maxing it out not paying the bill.

Grummy
Gura
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Postby Gura » Tue Jul 19, 2005 6:16 pm

pretend like its your friend who just called..and start talking about a girl u just boinked in the ass. pulled my winky out and i had a chocolate popsicle but it was ok cuz she licked it clean.
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Postby Nikelon » Tue Jul 19, 2005 6:30 pm

eh, my favorite is the calls where they don't want to speak to me, only to my dad. I tell them, "He's out with his girlfriend right now; would you like to speak with his wife?" They usually hang up or stutter enough to end the conversation.
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Lalsed
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Postby Lalsed » Tue Jul 19, 2005 6:59 pm

Well, as unfortunate as it is, I'm currently telemarketing. Home for the summer for two months and averaging about 15/hr part time isn't bad.

Anyways, whenever anyone says something stupid which they think is creative I usually just hang up or something to that effect, and chuckle to myself. It's also great when people get really pissed off, knowing I have so much power to ruin someone's day with a simple telephone call gives me some sort of strange power rush.

Anyways, telemarketing sucks, I personally hate telemarketers, and would probably hate myself too, but I have to keep myself sane enough to work at least for another month.

And yeah, just ask to be put on their do not call list, unless they're a moron and really want to call someone back who isn't interested, they'll do it, at least I do. Or just giveme alot of personal information and I'll go away.

Anyways...
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Pril
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Postby Pril » Tue Jul 19, 2005 8:28 pm

"I'm sorry let me get ther person who makes the financial decisions in this household."

And then give the phone to my 3 year old brother.
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Postby Yasden » Tue Jul 19, 2005 8:44 pm

"Sorry, they're not home right now, I'm just housesitting for them while they're on vacation."

--insert typical "when will they be home?" question--

"Oh, they should be back in two weeks to a month."

They usually never end up calling back.
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Postby Vaprak » Tue Jul 19, 2005 9:24 pm

When they ask for me by my difficult to pronounce surname I immediately come back with, "No, this is his former roomate, and if you ever do get ahold of that sumbish let me know because he owes me 3 months back rent. I'm currently selling all of his belongings on eBay if you're interested in some good deals though. Just give me your email address and I'll send you a link to the listings."
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Postby Thilindel » Tue Jul 19, 2005 10:01 pm

Wee, this thread is right up my alley. I was a telemarketer for DialAmerica Inc. for three years while I attending IU Law School. Eventually, I got off the cold callers list and stuck with companies like Intuit, etc that don't do cold calling. From the audit office I learned a hell of a lot. I finally got to quit and work at G.E. in Bloomington, but at any rate:

Basically - These guys thrive off of your reluctance to be mean by hanging up, but regardless you should not. Your phone numbers are sold to other dialercorps that do nothing but pester. ANYTIME you fill out a contest to win free things, such as a visit to the mall, and there's a both where you fill out a questionaire in hopes of winning a car..blah blah, that is for marketing purpose.

ALL you need to do is:

A) Place me on your 'Do NOT Call List'
B) Please mail me confirmation of said request
C) *If you live in a 'Do NOT Call' state, remind them as such.

Don't be too rude because in the audit office I would overhear some calls where they marketer didn't like how he was treated, so he would try to process (that's where I got involved) the call and the victim would have actually confirmed acceptance, had it not been for me. MANY calls like CouponInc. or ValueSavers tell you that they will bill you after 90 days, if you don't like it, just return it and we'll even pay the shipping. This is horse crap. You have to realize they ALREADY have your credit card #, exp date etc. so don't try to be too rude with them, just tell the factually that you appreciate the offer but, as stated above, do not call, period.

5/3 Bank is trying to force the Do NOT Call list to be abolished, citing it defeats 5/3's right to free speech. One last thing to remember is if from the dialer, that something is 'processed' and then lost in the mail, you won't even have the number to call to cancel your credit card being billed.

This is what I do now, having worked in such a hellhole for those three years. 'Hello, Mr. BillyJoJimBob, the reason we're calling today is to let you know that you can have a three day, expenses paid..' and that's where I stop them. "Let me stop you if I may. I'm (I just bluff) an attorney here in Indiana, and I'll let you know first off that this is a No CALL State, and as such please remove me from your list, send me confirmation that this has occurred, and please let your call list provider know this as well. Now you have a nice day."

I thought I'd add that for those who like to 'toy' with marketers, they could give a rat's ass less. It's a job. They hit F1 and the next shift will automatically call you again when its dialer reaches your number. You make their job rough, they'll be asses right back. Plus their revenge for being treated badly is knowing you'll be incessantly bothered until (which most don't know to state) you ask for the DNC listing.
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Postby Yarash » Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:37 am

Since registering on the do not call list, our household has stopped receiving all telemarketing calls.

https://www.donotcall.gov

- Mike
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Postby Nurpy Fuzzyfeet » Wed Jul 20, 2005 4:52 pm

Telemarketer: Hello is this Mr.XXXX?

Me: Why yes it is.

Telemarketer: Well I have a great offer for you! (blah blah blah)

Me:(I Interrupt)-Wow you have a really sexy voice...

Telemarketer-(Silence for a few seconds..) Thank you...(tries to continue sentence)

Me: (make wet smacking sound with my mouth) Oh my god! aaah yes! keep talking! Mmmm!

Telemarketer: Is....is Mrs. XXXX around? Could I speak to her?

Me: No, she's not home right now, she'll never know baby...aaahhh! *start breathing heavy*

Telemarketer: I'llcallbackanothertimesir *click*

Of course they never do.....
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Postby Yasden » Wed Jul 20, 2005 6:50 pm

Keep in mind, even if you are registered on the DNC list, a company in which you have dealings *can* solicit you legally over the phone still. For example: your cable/phone company, companies you have credit cards or financing through, etc. Normally, I don't answer the phone at any time if my caller ID says "Unavailable". 99% of the time, those are the telemarketers.
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Thilindel
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Postby Thilindel » Wed Jul 20, 2005 7:43 pm

That's not cold calling tho. State police and other government solicitations are typically immune to the list, but DNC is just that. You have every right to tell them to quit calling unless it's service related and not to enhance your service. They can only attempt that once. (upgrading your current service) That is for Indiana, however. Not sure on other states.
teflor the ranger
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Postby teflor the ranger » Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:12 pm

www.donotcall.gov

it's all right there :P

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