Sappy Personal Advice Thread

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Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Thu May 15, 2008 11:09 pm

Yeah, I hate doing this but I can't get my mind off it... maybe if I just post I can get myself to not think about it for a while. I'll have done _something_, you see... rather than just sit around waiting which drives me nuts.

Anyway, I was set up with this girl a couple months ago. She was crazy about me, I kind of liked her. We went out around once a week for a month, at which point I was pretty much starting to fall for her too. Now, even while we were seeing each other regularly she cancelled our plans about 50% of the time. I understood, she is working two jobs and just started at one of them so she's the low man and gets called in whenever. No biggie.

The problem is, she's now cancelled the last three times we made plans and I haven't seen her in almost three weeks. The part that really bugs me is she hasn't called to tell me she's not going to show. So like two weeks ago Saturday we were supposed to spend the day together, I call to see when she'll be over and such and there's no answer, and she never called back. I called the next week, we made plans for saturday again and she was supposed to call me after she finished a tupperware party. She finally texts me 3 hours after she was supposed to call, saying the party ran late and she's sorry.

So now we made plans to see a movie tomorrow, and she was supposed to look up the times and call me back. No call back, and I just called her to confirm tomorrow... but no answer and still no callback.

Really beginning to think she just doesn't want to see me anymore. So... yeah. Thoughts?
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Corth » Thu May 15, 2008 11:17 pm

She's not interested. If she was, and she legitimately had to cancel plans, she would not keep you waiting. She would make sure to let you know in advance, and she would be very apologetic. She likely wants to break it off, but is nervous about it, so shes trying to send you a signal. Perhaps trying to get you to dump her.
Having said all that, the situation has been handled, so this thread is pretty much at an end. -Kossuth

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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Thu May 15, 2008 11:21 pm

Damn Libertarians. My only comfort is that Libertarians are always wrong. :P
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Corth » Thu May 15, 2008 11:25 pm

Keep telling yourself that Sarvis!

Look, there are plenty of sappy liberal chicks out there. You'll meet the right one soon enough and have naive little liberal children. Unfortunately, this girl isn't the one! Sorry mang :(
Having said all that, the situation has been handled, so this thread is pretty much at an end. -Kossuth



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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Gormal » Thu May 15, 2008 11:28 pm

Either way your best bet is to let her call you, then make sure you tell her she was being flaky so if she wants to go out its on her.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby avak » Thu May 15, 2008 11:29 pm

Sarvis wrote:...she was supposed to call me after she finished a tupperware party.


Do we really need to continue?

No, seriously, there is a lot to be said for the pursuit. Do you think the girl picked up on the fact that you were not entirely into her at the beginning, but now you are? Maybe consciously or subconsciously she turned the tables on you and as they say, wunb?
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Thu May 15, 2008 11:32 pm

wunb?
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby avak » Thu May 15, 2008 11:37 pm

what's up now bitch? On reflection, I think it is possible that wunb is a localized thing, but I could swear I've seen it on digg, etc.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Thu May 15, 2008 11:37 pm

Ah... don't frequent digg, sooooo...

So does anyone have an optimistic view on this?
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby avak » Thu May 15, 2008 11:43 pm

She's got a guy friend that she's not into and is trying to sort all of that out, all while protecting you.

She's really just that busy.

She feels like she over-extended at first and is trying to cover up her strong feelings with a little aloofness.

She got suckered in to a tupperware cult that insists she cut ties with the outside world.

I'd just venture to guess that unless there is some major shit going on in her life that you are not aware of then the writing is on the wall. But, of course, there could be some major shit going on and she could act like that and still be into you.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Teyaha » Thu May 15, 2008 11:56 pm

certainly one option if you think there might still be a chance is to not bother calling her or contacting her at all. let her come to you.

unless you feel you might need some closure.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Fri May 16, 2008 12:02 am

That's pretty much what I tried last week, until I broke down and called her...

Unfortunately I'm a man of action (if sitting at a keyboard and typing all day can be considered action) so the waiting kills me.

I was thinking of just sending a text message asking if she still wants to see me. Too lame? I know I probably should call, but if I call and she answers I'll just end up chatting because I won't want to bring it up...
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Kifle » Fri May 16, 2008 1:08 am

Gormal wrote:Either way your best bet is to let her call you, then make sure you tell her she was being flaky so if she wants to go out its on her.


Girls hate desperation. Gormal is right. Just text her and be done with it but don't be a dick. Just tell her when her schedule is less busy, look you up. If she wants it to be over, it's over. If she wants to continue, she'll call you. Stop acting like she's your last chance at vag for the next 10 years :)

Edit: Just read your last post and you seem pretty desperate. DON'T force a conversation. DON'T ask if she wants to see you. Think of it this way, when a salesman is pushing a certain car on you, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? There's something wrong with this car... and you want nothing to do with it.

Women love men with an emotional side -- they don't like women with a manly side. There's a big difference.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Lathander » Fri May 16, 2008 2:17 am

Right now, you are making yourself way too available to her. I agree with the others that you should pull back from her, and do some things with your friends. The reason is when she does call you, you will have lots of fun things to tell her that you did while she was working. If she is really working that much, she'll see you having fun and be drawn to you. Stop calling her for a bit.

Tell us more about her. What are her two jobs? How old is she? Where does she rate on a scale of 1 to 10. My wife's father told me something 18 years ago that I recommend to everyone. Treat the dogs like princesses and the princesses like dogs.

*nod me*
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Corth » Fri May 16, 2008 2:21 am

Your wife's father told you this? Oh my :)
Having said all that, the situation has been handled, so this thread is pretty much at an end. -Kossuth



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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Lathander » Fri May 16, 2008 2:34 am

Yea, I remember she got pretty pissed at him about it.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Fri May 16, 2008 2:47 am

Lathander wrote:Tell us more about her. What are her two jobs? How old is she? Where does she rate on a scale of 1 to 10. My wife's father told me something 18 years ago that I recommend to everyone. Treat the dogs like princesses and the princesses like dogs.

*nod me*



I can never remember the "real job," process manager or project planner or something. Her second job is a massage therapist, and she just started working at the place...

I'd say she's a 6 or maybe 7, so what did your father-in-law say about average girls? ;)

But yeah, I think you guys are right. (First time for everything, isn't there?)

Where's Ash and Ambar anyway, the one time I might listen to them and they aren't around... sheesh!
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Fri May 16, 2008 2:47 am

Corth wrote:Your wife's father told you this? Oh my :)


The real question is whether or not he treats his wife like a dog. ;)
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby teflor the ranger » Fri May 16, 2008 6:51 am

Sarvis wrote:Yeah, I hate doing this but I can't get my mind off it... maybe if I just post I can get myself to not think about it for a while. I'll have done _something_, you see... rather than just sit around waiting which drives me nuts.

Anyway, I was set up with this girl a couple months ago. She was crazy about me, I kind of liked her. We went out around once a week for a month, at which point I was pretty much starting to fall for her too. Now, even while we were seeing each other regularly she cancelled our plans about 50% of the time. I understood, she is working two jobs and just started at one of them so she's the low man and gets called in whenever. No biggie.

The problem is, she's now cancelled the last three times we made plans and I haven't seen her in almost three weeks. The part that really bugs me is she hasn't called to tell me she's not going to show. So like two weeks ago Saturday we were supposed to spend the day together, I call to see when she'll be over and such and there's no answer, and she never called back. I called the next week, we made plans for saturday again and she was supposed to call me after she finished a tupperware party. She finally texts me 3 hours after she was supposed to call, saying the party ran late and she's sorry.

So now we made plans to see a movie tomorrow, and she was supposed to look up the times and call me back. No call back, and I just called her to confirm tomorrow... but no answer and still no callback.

Really beginning to think she just doesn't want to see me anymore. So... yeah. Thoughts?

Having gotten to know you over the last few years, here are a few thoughts. You're an introvert. She's an extravert. You seem nice and thoughtful at first. She's thrilled. You're frightened because, well, you're always frightened. A few dates happen. You become comfortable enough with her to look at her chest. You start falling for her. She has had a few dates to realize that you drag her down and she feels trapped by the fact that you don't need to be around others to recharge and gain energy, but she does. Her interest has moved on.

Move on. I'm certain there's someone else that would be better suited for you, despite the fact that all I know about her so far is 'tupperware party', and no-callsies-backsies.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Ambar » Fri May 16, 2008 10:43 am

I'd have probably gotten the message after the third canceled plans .. but that's just me
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Fri May 16, 2008 12:21 pm

Ok, latest development: Got a text message from her this morning, apologizing for not calling last night. Apparently there was a family emergency and she has to cancel tonight, but she says she'll call me.

*sigh* See, what I really hate is the confusion. If she'd just dump me I'd probably be ok with it. Why can't women be more straightforward?

I still think you guys are right though, so just going to wait... not really expecting to hear from her I guess.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Ragorn » Fri May 16, 2008 2:00 pm

Move on, stop hanging on her call. If she calls, fine. If not, fine.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Larble » Fri May 16, 2008 4:29 pm

Gotta go with the concensus on this one and say pull back to see what develops. If nothing else, it sounds like you might want the relationship to progress to a point that she can't due to time constraints, etc.

On the flip side, if you want to be a real bastige you could always sleep with her best friend and then if she comes back you stick it in her p00per!

yeah yeah...that's not 100% family friendly...but it's still funny dangit!
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Fri May 16, 2008 4:52 pm

I'd probably have to have met her best friend first...
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Gormal » Fri May 16, 2008 6:23 pm

Ok, lets stop dodging the important issues here. Rate her fuck/suck skills. Then we can better tell you if she's worth it.

If the answer is "we haven't gotten that far yet" then you should punch yourself in the face for stressing this much over her.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Fri May 16, 2008 6:37 pm

Yeah, I kind of suck...

We almost got that far on our last date, but it was the wrong time of the month...
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Corth » Fri May 16, 2008 6:37 pm

Imho, its the other way around Gormal. Once you have gotten to sucking and fucking, theres no longer a need to stress. You already got what you want, right? :)
Having said all that, the situation has been handled, so this thread is pretty much at an end. -Kossuth



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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Dalar » Fri May 16, 2008 6:50 pm

avak wrote:what's up now bitch? On reflection, I think it is possible that wunb is a localized thing, but I could swear I've seen it on digg, etc.


this shall be my new meme.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Gormal » Fri May 16, 2008 7:13 pm

There's no wrong time of the month. Its called a towel, use it.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Raiwen » Fri May 16, 2008 7:36 pm

Sarvis wrote:Ok, latest development: Got a text message from her this morning, apologizing for not calling last night. Apparently there was a family emergency and she has to cancel tonight, but she says she'll call me.

Are you sure this isn't my ex-wife?

we eventually dated and got married (divorced, too), but it got to the point where she had created an environment where I was literally chasing her. Once I decided that I had better things to do than wait on a flake, she decided that her little "game" wasn't working.

Also, another things you may want to consider is that she just may be a drama queen. Mine was. Drama still followers her around. Were it not or the son we share, I'd have stopped talking to her the day I signed the check to my divorce lawyer.

Anyways, I think she's just f*cking with your head. Either:

A) she's got a new guy, and doesn't want confrontation with you.

B) she likes to play head games, and you're the new target!

Not much you can do about (A) or (B), except stop calling her and move on.

If she calls. She calls. If not, then don't be surprised if you see her out with her new boyfriend.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Sarvis » Fri May 16, 2008 7:46 pm

Gormal wrote:There's no wrong time of the month. Its called a towel, use it.



Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww......
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Gormal » Fri May 16, 2008 7:59 pm

Its the only time of the month where you know you won't need the Astroglide.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Kifle » Fri May 16, 2008 9:24 pm

Gormal wrote:Its the only time of the month where you know you won't need the Astroglide.


If you're using astroglide for anything other than mudsliding, there's something wrong with your technique, sir -- unless you're banging some 50+yr old pruned vag.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Gormal » Fri May 16, 2008 9:29 pm

Not all women have a waterfall between their thighs 24/7. That doesn't mean they don't still want the lovin.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Kifle » Fri May 16, 2008 9:32 pm

Gormal wrote:Not all women have a waterfall between their thighs 24/7. That doesn't mean they don't still want the lovin.


Hrm, never really had that problem except on a few occasions where they were sleepy. More licky, less pokey! Sometimes you have to squeeze water out of a stone, grasshopper, but the water is always there.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Gormal » Fri May 16, 2008 9:35 pm

Sometimes they just want to be poked... hard. I've learned not to argue, just to be prepared.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Gormal » Fri May 16, 2008 9:37 pm

Sarvis: Can you please edit the thread title with the (NSFT) tag. We wouldn't want anyone's children to read about this kind of stuff. You aren't supposed to learn about sex until you're married.
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby ssar » Fri May 16, 2008 10:30 pm

It's Dr. Phil / Ricky Lake / Oprah on TorilMUD!
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Re: Sappy Personal Advice Thread

Postby Duna » Sun May 18, 2008 3:11 am

Gormal wrote:Sarvis: Can you please edit the thread title with the (NSFT) tag. We wouldn't want anyone's children to read about this kind of stuff. You aren't supposed to learn about sex until you're married.

ROFL !!!! I guess I"m in trouble then. I know for a fact my 10 year old knows more about sex than most.

Sarvis, Find things to do with friends and/or other women. Don't focus so much on just this one. If she comes around, fine, if not don't sweat it. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Besides, the odds are in your favor. There are generally fewer available men than women :P
So allow yourself to be a bit picky, and figure out who you are before you get so focused on any one chick again :)
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