Kiryan lays down the law

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kiryan
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby kiryan » Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:58 am

or do what Gary the Retard from the Howard Stern show did. He went bisexual. He doubled his playing field. Brilliant.

I know you're not to sure and don't know how to handle rejection. I've got the perfect advice for you, go down to the local adult shop and ask where the nearest glory hole is. You can come to grips with how big of a loser you are in relative privacy!

seriously grow a pair or go slob a pair.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Alta » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:02 am

kiryan wrote:seriously grow a pair or go slob a pair.


Your advice is just plain mean!
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby kiryan » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:10 am

thats what angry little b*hes need. someone to slap them in the face with a c*k so they can wake up and realize they are complete and utter losers and that if they don't like it, they have to change.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:38 am

kiryan wrote:seriously, get it through your head. EVEN if she wasn't f*d up, EVEN if she might actually have feelings with you, those are BIG IFs. Get your shit in order and take a high percentage shot.


Dude, this isn't fucking pool. Women are not a fucking game piece for you to evaluate. What the fuck is wrong with you? I may not be able to find a wife by judging her like a piece of livestock or something, but at least I don't think of people the way you do.

I'm sure your wife LOVES that she was simply the woman with the fewest reasons not to date. Not that she was special, or that you loved her, or that she was perfect for you. Just had fewer things wrong with her. Yeah, that's romance!
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:43 am

Alta wrote:
Sarvis wrote:Well, _something_ found me when I wasn't looking.


Puppy love is not love. It feels like love and it hurts like love when it's over. But believe me, I've been in puppy love before (stupid Toarn) and the entire world knew it was nothing, but I don't think anything hurt worse than that. It is not a relationship when it is one sided. Her treatment of you may seem different and that may have made you fall. This is puppy love even if you weren't looking for it. What I am saying is make something of your life. The point of not looking for it isn't my point. My point is make something of your life.


I don't get what you mean by make something of my life. It's not like I'm some homeless bum wandering the streets, I've got a pretty good life at the moment. Unfortunately my interests aren't generally things that lead to meeting people. Not very frequent that some hot babe stops by my living room while I'm reading a good book!

As for puppy love vs. real love... not sure how you'd know the difference when it's happening. How can you honestly tell the real thing?
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:46 am

Sarvis wrote:Well, _something_ found me when I wasn't looking.

Dude, you fell in love with a stripper. It isn't any more complicated than that. And while I don't share kiryan's... zeal for helping, I do wonder how hard you need to be smacked before you grasp what you've gotten yourself into.

This girl does not like you.

This girl does not want to be your girlfriend.

This girl is using you for your money. She's a stripper. Her job is literally to convince you that she likes you enough to get you to spend money on her. That's what she's paid to do!! Stop being confused about it.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:50 am

Sarvis wrote:As for puppy love vs. real love... not sure how you'd know the difference when it's happening. How can you honestly tell the real thing?

Unfortunately, contrary to what the Beatles might have you believe, you need a LOT more than love to make a relationship work. In that context, it doesn't really matter whether you love her or not.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:58 am

Ragorn wrote:
Sarvis wrote:As for puppy love vs. real love... not sure how you'd know the difference when it's happening. How can you honestly tell the real thing?

Unfortunately, contrary to what the Beatles might have you believe, you need a LOT more than love to make a relationship work. In that context, it doesn't really matter whether you love her or not.


Frankly, I'd say it matters more if she loves me or not. ;)

Like I said before though, I'm feeling a lot more centered on the matter now. I'm definitely going to see her again, at least out of curiosity. It's a question of this weekend, or waiting a couple weeks to see if she wonders where I've been or anything.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:07 am

Sarvis wrote:
Ragorn wrote:
Sarvis wrote:As for puppy love vs. real love... not sure how you'd know the difference when it's happening. How can you honestly tell the real thing?

Unfortunately, contrary to what the Beatles might have you believe, you need a LOT more than love to make a relationship work. In that context, it doesn't really matter whether you love her or not.


Frankly, I'd say it matters more if she loves me or not. ;)

Yes. That's my point. She doesn't.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:16 am

I'm glad you can so accurately determine the thoughts and feelings of someone you've never even met...
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:29 am

Sarvis wrote:I'm glad you can so accurately determine the thoughts and feelings of someone you've never even met...

It's pretty obvious to everyone here except you.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:38 am

But you're all basing it on your inherent prejudices of her as a stripper. It's nothing different than judging people by their clothes, really. Of course you all think she's just playing me for the cash, that there can't be any other alternative. That's what strippers do, right?

I'm the one who's there, who sees the little things that make me think there's a chance you're wrong. I admit it isn't a big chance, but it's there.


EDIT: Frankly though, at the moment I just wish I could get to sleep...
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:59 am

Sarvis wrote:But you're all basing it on your inherent prejudices of her as a stripper. It's nothing different than judging people by their clothes, really. Of course you all think she's just playing me for the cash, that there can't be any other alternative. That's what strippers do, right?

Actually that's just part of it. There's also her seeming unwillingness to seek you out to spend time with you, the way you do with her. The lack of initiative to be the one to initiate contact with you. The relative reluctance to meet you outside of work.

And yes, there's the money. Why does she let you throw your money away at the strip club? If she had genuine feelings for you, she would discourage you from pissing your money down the drain like that. You're not actually getting anything for your money except a false sense of affection.

This girl has given you no indication that she has any feelings for you at all, outside the normal and expected response that dancer girls give to their customers. You're just interpreting that relationship to be something more than it really is, and it's costing you a lot of money.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:03 am

Incidentally, and as kind of a humorous side note, I never give strippers my real name. If they ask, I tell them my name is Derek, and I'm a lobbyist with a firm that operates on Capitol Hill. Why should the stripper be the only one who gets to have fun playing a character invented purely to stir up the interest of the prospective customer?
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Gormal » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:07 am

Fuck this thread really is about Kiryan laying down the law...
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:11 am

Unfortunately some of those things can be explained. She doesn't associate with anyone from work outside of work, because she's terrified of her parents finding out. Some girls do just completely keep their work/personal life separate... as explained to my by my ex-stripper friend.

The money thing has definitely been bothering me lately. At one point she mentioned feeling bad that I was spending so much, but that hasn't stopped her. I'm wondering if she did/does like me, but not enough to stop taking the money when she needs it so badly. It was clearly a mistake to start getting dances with her... and I've probably irreparably screwed up anything we might have had by doing so. :(

I don't think the way she acts with me is the normal and expected way for a dancer to act. It's not the way any other dancer has acted with me, and it's not the way I see her act with other customers. If there weren't signs that she was acting differently with me it would never have gotten this far.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:19 am

Sarvis wrote:If there weren't signs that she was acting differently with me it would never have gotten this far.

What do you mean "this far?" It hasn't actually gotten anywhere, except you're out a plasma TV.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:22 am

Ragorn wrote:
Sarvis wrote:If there weren't signs that she was acting differently with me it would never have gotten this far.

What do you mean "this far?" It hasn't actually gotten anywhere, except you're out a plasma TV.


I mean my infatuation with her. I don't need a plasma TV, I've got a nice big DLP.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby kiryan » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:32 am

sarvis, how long are you goin to keep trying to sell this... and why do you keep trying so hard? what is so important about her that you need to spend so much time and energy (and money consequently) to see if this could work out? take a high percentage shot.

Why do you keep looking past the simple fact that if she loves you or is into you, then she would be making sacrifices to be with you. If she is too busy or too poor or whatever to be with you, then she is too busy or too poor or whatever to be with you. Walk away. If she comes chasing and its does not involve being at the club and you giving her money for grinding on you cool. If she doesn't, then she doesn't love/care enough to make it work.

I don't think there is anyone who is successfully married who will tell you love is all you need. It takes a lot more than love to make a relationship to work mid and long term. love is the least important thing if you ask me. I love laurel, but i would've walked away for a # of reasons. there are more women than men in this world and regardless I'd rather live a happy life single pulling my pud than married to a woman I love but can't stand to live with.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:38 am

kiryan wrote:and why do you keep trying so hard?


At the moment, because I can't sleep...

what is so important about her that you need to spend so much time and energy (and money consequently) to see if this could work out? take a high percentage shot.


Stop saying that. It's the most retarded thing I've ever heard. There's no such thing as a high percentage shot.

As for time, no biggie I have plenty of it. It's an hour or so on Saturdays before I go to gaming. I'd probably just be napping otherwise. The money is done, I won't be spending any more on her. Energy? Except for last week when I figured it was all lost and was heartbroken over it, I'm generally happier and more energetic after seeing her. That's the big thing I guess, I enjoy her company. Even if we don't end up dating, I still want to spend more time with her because I enjoy it.


Why do you keep looking past the simple fact that if she loves you or is into you, then she would be making sacrifices to be with you. If she is too busy or too poor or whatever to be with you, then she is too busy or too poor or whatever to be with you. Walk away. If she comes chasing and its does not involve being at the club and you giving her money for grinding on you cool. If she doesn't, then she doesn't love/care enough to make it work.


True enough.

I don't think there is anyone who is successfully married who will tell you love is all you need. It takes a lot more than love to make a relationship to work mid and long term. love is the least important thing if you ask me. I love laurel, but i would've walked away for a # of reasons. there are more women than men in this world and regardless I'd rather live a happy life single pulling my pud than married to a woman I love but can't stand to live with.


I never said love is all you need, but frankly you make it sound like you make a list and start checking off pros and cons. Oh right, and measuring "shot percentage."
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Gormal » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:04 pm

Touchdown, Sarvis!

Image
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Corth » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:48 pm

Ragorn wrote:Incidentally, and as kind of a humorous side note, I never give strippers my real name. If they ask, I tell them my name is Derek, and I'm a lobbyist with a firm that operates on Capitol Hill. Why should the stripper be the only one who gets to have fun playing a character invented purely to stir up the interest of the prospective customer?


Rofl. Thats great! :)
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Raiwen » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:00 pm

Ragorn wrote:Incidentally, and as kind of a humorous side note, I never give strippers my real name. If they ask, I tell them my name is Derek, and I'm a lobbyist with a firm that operates on Capitol Hill. Why should the stripper be the only one who gets to have fun playing a character invented purely to stir up the interest of the prospective customer?

hahaha! I do the same thing!

In fact. I do the same thing in bars. I have a "drinking name". If some bozo hollars my drinking name out in public, then I figured I must have had a few drinks with them at the bar.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Raiwen » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:23 pm

Sarvis wrote:I don't think the way she acts with me is the normal and expected way for a dancer to act. It's not the way any other dancer has acted with me, and it's not the way I see her act with other customers. If there weren't signs that she was acting differently with me it would never have gotten this far.

I've been there - in your shoes. You have no way to determine if it's genuine or not. Get her number. Meet her after hours. If you can't do that, then GTFO.

Maybe I'm simplifying things too much, but I keep hearing (reading):

[*] I can't meet people.
[*] My interests don't facilitate meeting people.
[*] I don't meet a lot of people.

I, My, I, me, etc..

If you want to change the world, you have to start with yourself. I haven't seen the movie, but the new movie "yes man" with Jim Carey seems to have a good idea. The hardest decision, the hardest action - is the first one. It's like diving off a cliff into a lake. That moment, right before you jump. You're at the edge, unsure if you should do it. Your gut twists. Your mind seems to slow down. The world slows. Your heart races, and you take that first step. Suddenly, you're commited, and there's no going back, yet you're now freer because of it.

non-strippers aside

I hit on a lot of girls. I asked for a lot of numbers. I gave a lot of flowers, bought a lot of drinks, chatted up their ugly friends. I struck out. All the time. I didn't have a date for almost a year one time... forget getting laid.. I'm talking about not even a date.

But, eventually, you figure it out. You realize that you have to be comfortable with yourself. I'm a type A personality. I enjoy parties with lots of people. I wasn't always like that. In highschool, I was mostly introverted. I'm a computer programmer, and I started fiddling with computers when I was 8. I guess I was pretty typical for a geek. It didn't help I dated a girl that was introverted, too.

I don't know what my point is at this stage of the thread, but what I want you to understand after you read all this crap is this:

You can change.
You have choices.

You just have to be motivated to do it. You have to bootstrap yourself so to speak, as the only one that can motivate you - is you.

You can choose to float around in life, hoping that one day you'll meet that perfect girl that will accept you for who you are (whatever the definition).

Or, you can choose to control your life, your destiny, and go out and find yourself.

The difference being: When you find yourself, you'll also find that others WANT to be around you.

I'm not perfect by any means, but neither am I ashamed nor do I feel lacking in anything.

I'm a g*d d**n super star.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Raiwen » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:25 pm

kiryan wrote:I'd rather live a happy life single pulling my pud than married to a woman I love but can't stand to live with.

I have the divorce papers to prove that one..
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Raiwen » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:33 pm

One thing I felt was lost in my previous post was the idea of taking that first step.

Here's your homework for the week:

Everyday, you should compliment one stranger (a girl). You should find something about her that is unique and beautiful and tell her. Then smile, if you start a conversation then great. Otherwise, wave goodbye, say "I just had to complement you." Then walk away.

The adrenaline rush is great, and it'll make you feel better by being nice to other people. It's also practice for that first step.. to jump off that cliff and take a commitment.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:09 pm

Raiwen wrote:I haven't seen the movie, but the new movie "yes man" with Jim Carey seems to have a good idea.


Considering the amount of time I was spending in a strip club when that movie came out, the idea of saying yes to everything sounded very, very dangerous. ;)

I am working on trying to get out more. In fact I was working on that when I met Kayla... the idea was going out to clubs to meet women, and if I didn't meet anyone I'd stop at the strip club to talk to some girls who wouldn't say no in order to build my confidence. I kept that up for a while after meeting her too, but then the weather started turning cold and I was thinking more and more about Kayla so I gave up. *shrug*

I'm not so sure I'll even _see_ a new person every day this week. Or any day, really. Definitely not today... probably going to go straight from my cube to my apartment and sleep. :(
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Raiwen » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:17 pm

You meet people everywhere - at the drive through for fast food.

At the grocery store, bookstore, gas station pump next to you, at the mall, waiting in line somewhere.

You meet people everyday, you just choose not to look at them.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:19 pm

Raiwen wrote:You meet people everywhere - at the drive through for fast food.

At the grocery store, bookstore, gas station pump next to you, at the mall, waiting in line somewhere.

You meet people everyday, you just choose not to look at them.


I don't do most of those things very often...

When I am out I'm definitely _looking_ at them though! Frequently wishing I knew how to approach a stranger or could think of something to say...
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:26 pm

Raiwen wrote:
kiryan wrote:I'd rather live a happy life single pulling my pud than married to a woman I love but can't stand to live with.

I have the divorce papers to prove that one..

Ditto!

For me, nothing was more liberating than discovering that asking a girl on a date was literally no more complicated than starting a conversation and saying "hey, I'd like to take you out on a date sometime. Can I call you?" Very simple, very direct, and there's no room for pussyfooting or getting the wrong idea. If she writes down her number and hands it to you, she likes you. Wait 2 days and call her. If she says she's too busy, doesn't have time, or couldn't possibly find a free evening in the next couple weeks, that's a very polite no-thank-you. Be her friend if you want, but put the idea of ever dating her out of your mind.

Dating seemed like such a complicated thing when I was younger, before I really learned how to interact with people. I thought that girls were this mysterious thing to be desired from a distance, and the arcane rituals you had to undertake in order to get close to one were beyond my mortal comprehension. I don't know how I managed to stumble through my first couple relationships at all. It wasn't until after my divorce that I figured out how effortless the whole process really is. You meet a girl you like, you talk to her and find out more about her, you ask her out, you accept the result. You don't stew and obsess over your best friend for five years before finally summoning up the balls to ask her on a date after six wine coolers. There are worse things than rejection.

Sarvis: When kiryan says "take a high percentage shot," he means stop wasting your time on a girl who is very, very unlikely to give you the type of relationship you are clearly looking for. Yes, your stripper friend might be a unique and complex individual who's been waiting all her life for just the right computer geek to come along and whisk her away from the world of drugs and cheap sex she's been living in for the past five years. However, I can think of about a dozen outcomes that are far more likely, and far less beneficial to you. You aren't married to this girl. You aren't even dating her. There's no reason for you to be making sacrifices and putting yourself through hell for her. Walk away from her and find yourself someone who's going to make you happy without requiring so much effort (and money). Maybe you're afraid that there's nobody else out there who you will relate to -- there is. This isn't your only shot.

Let it go.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:31 pm

Ragorn wrote:
Raiwen wrote:
kiryan wrote:I'd rather live a happy life single pulling my pud than married to a woman I love but can't stand to live with.

I have the divorce papers to prove that one..

Ditto!

For me, nothing was more liberating than discovering that asking a girl on a date was literally no more complicated than starting a conversation


That's not complicated to you? I have trouble conversing with friends I've known for years... it's just not something I'm good at.


You don't stew and obsess over your best friend for five years before finally summoning up the balls to ask her on a date after six wine coolers. There are worse things than rejection.


Ouch. Never stewed over a girl that long... or really more than a couple months, and that's usually while I'm waiting for some sign I'll get a yes.

Sarvis: When kiryan says "take a high percentage shot," he means stop wasting your time on a girl who is very, very unlikely to give you the type of relationship you are clearly looking for. Yes, your stripper friend might be a unique and complex individual who's been waiting all her life for just the right computer geek to come along and whisk her away from the world of drugs and cheap sex she's been living in for the past five years. However, I can think of about a dozen outcomes that are far more likely, and far less beneficial to you. You aren't married to this girl. You aren't even dating her. There's no reason for you to be making sacrifices and putting yourself through hell for her. Walk away from her and find yourself someone who's going to make you happy without requiring so much effort (and money). Maybe you're afraid that there's nobody else out there who you will relate to -- there is. This isn't your only shot.


I'm not afraid there's no one else out there, I just don't see a real reason to give up at this point. The worst case scenario is you're all correct and I spend a couple more Saturday evenings talking to her and watching women dance around naked.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:35 pm

Sarvis wrote:When I am out I'm definitely _looking_ at them though! Frequently wishing I knew how to approach a stranger or could think of something to say...

Hey, I like your <hair, car, coat, dog>.

9 times out of 10, the person will say "thanks" and the conversation will go no further. If that's the case, you're done.

Occasionally, you'll start a conversation. They'll tell you how they got their coat, what their dog's name is, or they'll compliment your <hair, car, coat, dog>. Then off you go.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:37 pm

Sarvis wrote:
You don't stew and obsess over your best friend for five years before finally summoning up the balls to ask her on a date after six wine coolers. There are worse things than rejection.


Ouch. Never stewed over a girl that long... or really more than a couple months, and that's usually while I'm waiting for some sign I'll get a yes.

Three months may as well be five years.

If you've known a girl longer than three weeks, and there isn't a damn good reason why you haven't asked her out already (crunch time and you're working 90 hours a week, she lives 500 miles away and you only saw her once, pre-existing boyfriend condition), then it's probably too late for you to make your move. That's the point: You have to ask long before you're sure you'll get a yes. Sometimes you'll get a no. Then you move on with life.

I'm not afraid there's no one else out there, I just don't see a real reason to give up at this point. The worst case scenario is you're all correct and I spend a couple more Saturday evenings talking to her and watching women dance around naked.

No, the worst case scenario is that she'll continue to give you false hope without committing to anything so that you keep coming back to the club and spending money on women dancing around naked.
- Ragorn
Shar: Leave the moaning to the people who have real issues to moan about like rangers or newbies.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:41 pm

Ragorn wrote:
Sarvis wrote:
You don't stew and obsess over your best friend for five years before finally summoning up the balls to ask her on a date after six wine coolers. There are worse things than rejection.


Ouch. Never stewed over a girl that long... or really more than a couple months, and that's usually while I'm waiting for some sign I'll get a yes.

Three months may as well be five years.

If you've known a girl longer than three weeks, and there isn't a damn good reason why you haven't asked her out already (crunch time and you're working 90 hours a week, she lives 500 miles away and you only saw her once, pre-existing boyfriend condition), then it's probably too late for you to make your move. That's the point: You have to ask long before you're sure you'll get a yes. Sometimes you'll get a no. Then you move on with life.


D'oh.

I'm not afraid there's no one else out there, I just don't see a real reason to give up at this point. The worst case scenario is you're all correct and I spend a couple more Saturday evenings talking to her and watching women dance around naked.

No, the worst case scenario is that she'll continue to give you false hope without committing to anything so that you keep coming back to the club and spending money on women dancing around naked.


Except I'm not going to be spending that money anymore, so she won't have any motivation to string me along. I may not have willpower, but I _can_ plan things by leaving my debit card at home and only taking enough cash for a few drinks. ;)
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby kiryan » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:25 pm

i really hate people like you and kwirl. theres always an indisputable reason why what you are doing is the only thing you can be doing. if 99 out of 100 people would tell you x, you'd say but the 100th guy was for y.

Do whatever you want with regards to the stripper, but do yourself a favor and start seeing a counselor. You've got self esteem issues which is why you sit around here and create drama all day while ignoring all our solid advice. You like/need the attention and we are all enabling.

ask yourself, why don't you deserve better than kayla? You can't love someone else until you can love yourself. thats truth.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:42 pm

kiryan wrote:i really hate people like you and kwirl. theres always an indisputable reason why what you are doing is the only thing you can be doing. if 99 out of 100 people would tell you x, you'd say but the 100th guy was for y.


This from the guy who thinks if one person with tattoos is a serial killer they all MUST be! The really fun part is how many points I've conceded to you guys...

Do whatever you want with regards to the stripper, but do yourself a favor and start seeing a counselor. You've got self esteem issues which is why you sit around here and create drama all day while ignoring all our solid advice. You like/need the attention and we are all enabling.


If you say so. I mean, it couldn't possibly be that I'm trying to figure out something here and you guys were providing advice and useful viewpoints. Like I said above, you guys helped. That doesn't mean "decided for me what to do" it means "provided different viewpoints that made me look at the issue in a different way." Maybe it's not that my self-esteem is too low, maybe your arrogance is just a little too high. Obviously you think that what you believe is the only thing that can be correct! That doesn't just apply to this argument, either.

ask yourself, why don't you deserve better than kayla? You can't love someone else until you can love yourself. thats truth.


Better than Kayla? Who says there _is_ a better? I mean, after all you're saying she's created an illusion for me and I fell for it right? If this is true she's probably going to create an illusion as close to my ideal as possible right? (Of course, if she's just being herself then she's just close to my ideal without trying. Occam's razor anyone?)
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:53 pm

Sarvis wrote:Better than Kayla? Who says there _is_ a better? I mean, after all you're saying she's created an illusion for me and I fell for it right? If this is true she's probably going to create an illusion as close to my ideal as possible right? (Of course, if she's just being herself then she's just close to my ideal without trying. Occam's razor anyone?)

Yes, maybe you've found the one stripper with a heart of gold who's ready to leave it all behind and join you in your quest for happiness and fufillment. Maybe she really is just good natured, down to earth, and interesting. Maybe this stripper really is genuinely interested in you, a guy who professes to be introverted, somewhat geeky, and generally unproficient in socializing. Maybe all of your friends are wrong, and you should continue to have contact with this girl just to see how things go, in case there's a glimmer of potential just waiting for you to uncover it.

Occam's Razor indeed, Sarvis.
- Ragorn
Shar: Leave the moaning to the people who have real issues to moan about like rangers or newbies.
Corth: Go ask out a chick that doesn't wiggle her poon in people's faces for a living.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:00 pm

Ragorn wrote:
Sarvis wrote:Better than Kayla? Who says there _is_ a better? I mean, after all you're saying she's created an illusion for me and I fell for it right? If this is true she's probably going to create an illusion as close to my ideal as possible right? (Of course, if she's just being herself then she's just close to my ideal without trying. Occam's razor anyone?)

Yes, maybe you've found the one stripper with a heart of gold who's ready to leave it all behind


Err... leave what behind, exactly? Not like I'm asking her to quit her job or anything.

and join you in your quest for happiness and fufillment. Maybe she really is just good natured, down to earth, and interesting.


She's definitely interesting, seems fairly down to earth... not entirely sure about good natured though. Although she wants to teach kindergarten and seems to really enjoy when she's working with kids, so maybe she's good natured too.

Maybe this stripper really is genuinely interested in you, a guy who professes to be introverted, somewhat geeky, and generally unproficient in socializing.


So what, a girl can't like an introvert? I know a guy with SAD so bad he curls up in a ball if there's more than 2 people in the room. He managed to get married, so I'm not so sure introversion is an automatic dealbreaker with women.

Maybe all of your friends are wrong,


Keep in mind we're talking about Kiryan and Corth here. How often have they ever been right about something? ;)


and you should continue to have contact with this girl just to see how things go, in case there's a glimmer of potential just waiting for you to uncover it.


Well, why not? What do I lose, as long as I don't spend any more money?
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:19 pm

Shrug.

Guess I'm pretty much done here.

Hope it works out for you.
- Ragorn
Shar: Leave the moaning to the people who have real issues to moan about like rangers or newbies.
Corth: Go ask out a chick that doesn't wiggle her poon in people's faces for a living.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby kiryan » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:39 pm

either your dumb and i'm even dumber for wasting my time or you're needy and I'm enabling.

I'm with ragorn.

good luck.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Gormal » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:47 pm

wanna bring a stripper home to ma and pa's
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:55 pm

kiryan wrote:either your dumb and i'm even dumber for wasting my time or you're needy and I'm enabling.

I'm with ragorn.

good luck.


Yep, everything is binary. Only two options. Right.

Couldn't be that we're both just argumentative, I guess.

Gormal: Probably wouldn't go over well. College student working on her master's though? That'd go just fine.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Raiwen » Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:07 pm

Sarvis wrote:College student working on her master's though? That'd go just fine.

They're ALL in college, bro.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:14 pm

Nah, some of them are taking classes online in between jobs as stewardesses. Kayla and I make fun of those girls together.

I know, they are almost all "taking classes." (Though a couple will actually be honest and say they just dance because they enjoy it, and never even bother lying about school. Not like we really care for the most part after all!) Kayla would have to be pretty talented to keep 4 months worth of stories about her classes and projects straight though...
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Gormal » Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:20 pm

hey brosephs i love it when strippas take greenbacks outta my mouth with their snatch quote this if yer down
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Sarvis » Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:37 pm

Gormal wrote:hey brosephs i love it when strippas take greenbacks outta my mouth with their snatch quote this if yer down


Never had that happen... even in Canada the best you can get is for them to grab it with their boobs.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Alta » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:54 pm

Ragorn wrote:
Sarvis wrote:When I am out I'm definitely _looking_ at them though! Frequently wishing I knew how to approach a stranger or could think of something to say...

Hey, I like your <hair, car, coat, dog>.

9 times out of 10, the person will say "thanks" and the conversation will go no further. If that's the case, you're done.

Occasionally, you'll start a conversation. They'll tell you how they got their coat, what their dog's name is, or they'll compliment your <hair, car, coat, dog>. Then off you go.


Oh My GOSH! Is that what guys are doing? I actually thought they liked my hair, car, coat, dog. When girls do that to other girls, they actually like your purse, hair, bracelet, 2 carat engagement ring. Amazing.

The only stripper I knew was a very smart girl, no babies, no drug use. She finished college too. Hid the job from everyone. But she adored the attention. And the attention of one man was never enough. Even stripping wasn't enough guy attention for her. She got married very young and more than once, I presume she enjoyed the attention of being the bride. She was so good at making you feel like you were so interesting, so you would continue to pay attention to her. So even if it did work with Kayla, I'd be aware, that you may not be enough attention for her, even with your constant love/devotion.

And yes, of course this thread is about Kiryan laying down the law. He's laying down the law with Sarvis. And now he's done with that.

I guess I'll take back my previous advice. Don't go do something until Mrs. Right comes along. If you prefer staying home and reading, then do that. I had a problem with depression before and seeing a prefessional really helped. The one I saw would let me talk about things that bothered me... even little things like, my pillowcases don't fit on my pillows. And she would say, "what can you do to fix it?" I would say "nothing I do will make them stay on right." She might suggest making my own pillowcases. I would come back with "but I don't have a sewing machine." And she would suggest I buy two pillow cases, take out the stiches and use iron on seams and viola! Or go to a discount store with mismatched pillowcases and find two that look cute together. What I'm trying to say is what I learned from her was to problem solve. And yes, even emotions can be problem solved. You can say "I don't like feeling this." You figure out what makes you feel that way. You change that part of your life yourself. NO one else can do it for you. It cannot be dependant on someone else. You can't say, I won't feel that when I'm around so and so or when I get married or whatever. I know I was convinced someone loved me and I was "a better person around him" or "he made me want to be who I was." Turns out he didn't care at all about me, but loved the attention I gave him. He loved having many girls in love with him. That was a sucky place to be. I had to get where I wanted and be who I wanted to be by choice. If you like being someone who stays at home and reads then be that person. If you don't, think seriously about what you want to be and what steps you can take to get there.
I will continue to be an enabler and respond to this. I am just so amazed that you don't see your need for help.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby avak » Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:15 pm

This thread makes my day. Part of me entertains a alternate scenario where Sarvis is just bs'ing all of us for kicks. Kind of like a sweet twist on the real plot with the stripper.

BTW, I fn love strippers. Not to date. omfg. But just to talk to and hang out with...uh, at strip clubs. I went to a club way out in the boonies at the front end of a random hunting season once. Best strip club advice...bring attractive women that like to have fun and you'll have so much action you won't know where to turn. The other dudes that were there were creepy, like a pack of dogs with this stupid look on their faces. Turned in to one of the most fun nights out I've ever had...including an offer for 'special treatment' which I declined due to aforementioned attractive women.

And Ragorn, the occam's razor comeback was classic.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Alta » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:29 am

oh and I also want to say I know alot of painfully shy men. And those guys that walk up to me, complete strangers and compliment something are always the outgoing ones. I don't see Sarvis doing this. I keep thinking that when he's picking up a book at the library or bookstore or whatever, joining a book club, that after he's been going there for years and one day, Mrs. Right is there. And she likes what he has to say about a certain book. And he's pationate about his opinion of it, which of course he would be. And she may not totally agree, but wants to hear what he has to say. He then needs to be confident of himself enough to say, I'd really like to talk to you about this more over coffee. And she may say yes. Or is too busy. Maybe he should read that "He's just not that into you" book. I think it helped me alot.

If she seriously was remotely interested in you, she would suddenly realize, oh crap, I forgot our date, immediately call and say "I am Soooooooo sorry..... My dog died and I missed our date and I'd like to reschedule." If you see her in a few weeks and you mention she missed your last date and she says "oh, did I?" then she doesn't like you. Girls don't forget things like that if they have the slightest interest in you. I could only see myself doing that if I pretty much hated a guy but was using him for something. Even guys I liked as friends, I wouldn't do that. I would have to completely dislike a guy to do that and I am more forward than that. If I don't like someone, I tell them that I don't want to see them anymore. I guess not all girls are like that, especially if she is getting something from you. She likes your money and attention enough to keep you baited. I don't think the stripper part is the part that bugs me as much as her treatment of you when you aren't talking to her. Girls can be very nice to your face.
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Re: Kiryan lays down the law

Postby Ragorn » Wed Jan 07, 2009 1:08 am

Alta wrote:Oh My GOSH! Is that what guys are doing? I actually thought they liked my hair, car, coat, dog. When girls do that to other girls, they actually like your purse, hair, bracelet, 2 carat engagement ring. Amazing.

Yeah, pretty much. I'll compliment my friends if I genuinely do like their hair, car, coat, dog. If I walk up to you at a gas station and pay you a compliment out of nowhere, it's probably because you're smoking hot.
- Ragorn
Shar: Leave the moaning to the people who have real issues to moan about like rangers or newbies.
Corth: Go ask out a chick that doesn't wiggle her poon in people's faces for a living.

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