Sarvis wrote:Ok Kifle, AKA "Mr. Women are Simple" maybe you can explain something to me...
If you're on a dance floor and a girl is dancing nearby, but keeps looking back towards you and inching closer until she's practically grinding you... isn't that some kind of signal that she'd want to dance with you?
Yet every time I try to approach for that, I get a funny look or otherwise turned down. (Girl on Friday wagged her finger at me... but looked more amused than anything.)
Are they just playing mind games, or am I approaching wrong... or both?
/how ARE you supposed to start dancing with a girl anyway... haven't quite mastered that trick yet :(
It depends. Is she looking at you in the face as she backs up, or is she looking at the floor or your body? She could just be seeing how much room she has before she would bump in to you. If she looks at you and smiles, then you're more than likely getting the go ahead if she's also backing up. If she smiles and doesn't move, there's a high probability that she's just being friendly because she accidentally made eye contact with you. The context of the action is infinitely more important than the action itself.
As for initiating dancing with a woman, your best luck is to get a wingman. Girls usually travel in packs unless they are with guys already. Most girls worth dancing with will not leave their uggo friends behind for various obvious reasons, so a wingman to take one for the team is always a good thing -- unless you're model hot. If you're already on the floor, make sure you can dance -- not just think you can dance. Rarely will a woman single out the guy that can't dance to go dance with. And, sadly, your physical appearance has a lot to do with it if you're trying to meet people on the dance floor. I have no idea what you look like, but if you have short-comings, be humerous about them. For example, if you're chunky, act like you're showing off your body but make it a bit sarcastic. Laughter is the best aphrodesiac. Again, though, a lot of this is situation dependent, and there are no hard/fast ways to pick up chicks 100% of the time. It's a numbers game. Hit on enough, you're bound to get one.
But, really, do you want to find a girl who goes to clubs and dances? I wouldn't say the probability of finding a "good" girl at those places to be very high at all. And your age probably is getting on the upper end to bag most chicks you'll see (I'm only guessing). At this point, the meetings, female friends, work, etc. are all probably where you'll find what you really want in the long run. Don't settle for short-term. You don't seem like the kind of guy that will either be able to handle it or truly want it anyway.
What ever happened to that girl that wanted to be friends that you met up with a short while back? The girls that will work hardest for you are the ones that went on a "mix-up" date like that one. She will relieve most negative emotions [guilt, stress, anxiety, etc.] by helping you find another girl because A) she is under the impression that she is off the hook B) most people want to help others when it isn't hard work and C) she is given control of a situation she had no control over (this is always big for all people). I'd milk that well while it is fresh.
Gook luck, man. Hope some of that helps a bit.