The Game

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Sarvis
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sun Dec 13, 2009 11:54 pm

I was never that bad... whiny and needy maybe, but planning things three weeks out is just beyond my abilities. ;) ( haven't even scheduled a new years event for my meetup group yet...)
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Re: The Game

Postby Dalar » Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:03 am

The fact that you know she's overly excited about your date sucks. Just an FYI, just b/c a chick plays games with you doesn't mean they're a good match.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:25 am

I think there's a difference between "I'm looking forward to tomorrow night" and "I'm so sure this will turn into a relationship I've told my family and made plans 3 weeks out."

Sheesh, there was something I wanted to take Kayla to last January and I didn't even think of bringing it up until after we'd gone out a few times.

EDIT: I don't think Hanh is playing games with me... I think it's a combination of her being a little shy, and me being horrible at this. To make things worse I was kinda sick yesterday so I didn't even think of trying for a kiss. I texted her on the way home that I owed her a good night kiss payable when I wasn't sick anymore. I figured she'd either give me a "let's just be friends" response if she wasn't interested... but she just said thanks for not getting her sick too. So at least she knows where I stand, and hasn't shot me down yet...
Last edited by Sarvis on Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:26 am

Sarvis wrote:Sheesh, there was something I wanted to take Kayla to last January and I didn't even think of bringing it up until after we'd gone out a few times.


Planned parenthood?
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:33 am

Kifle wrote:
Sarvis wrote:Sheesh, there was something I wanted to take Kayla to last January and I didn't even think of bringing it up until after we'd gone out a few times.


Planned parenthood?


Heh... no. Never got that far. ;)

(Edited previous post btw...)
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:36 am

*sigh*

So I organized something for my meetup groups for New Years Eve.

Heidi is running a singles party on NYE that she organized so she can't go.

I asked Hanh, but she's got another party she was invited to that she really wanted to go to...

I'm probably the only guy in the world who can actually be dating two women and STILL not have a date for NYE... :(
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:23 am

Ragorn wrote:
I'm actually not sure about that, given the chickening out factor. I wonder if I was the first... I don't think they've been married all that long...

She didn't chicken out, she just didn't want to fuck you. She has an open marriage for christ's sake... she's probably been swinging with her husband since the days when he was just her boyfriend. You're not the first. You're not even in the first dozen.




HAH! You were wrong! We actually talked about it tonight, and I was... ok, not the "first" but the first one she brought back to her apartment. Even then, I was the second... and she got freaked out by being in her apartment and not knowing me that well. (There have been more since, but I certainly was inside the first dozen!)
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sun May 23, 2010 8:40 am

So I was reading through this thread a bit while trying to find a link in it. It's certainly been a long lasting thread, and the last few months have had some twists to be sure. Noticed., for instance, that Darlene was getting a lot of mention at the beginning of the thread, then came back in the last few pages (like a year later) and I didn't even realize I had already talked about her!

Anyway, figured I'd ask if people want to know the current events. I've basically hashed shit out on another forum, but there's not much going on here lately so figured I'd offer without posting it all and pissing everyone off! ;)
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Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Mon May 24, 2010 10:54 pm

Did you ever get laid?
Sarvis
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue May 25, 2010 12:20 am

Kifle wrote:Did you ever get laid?


Yes, was actually getting some semi-regularly until about 2 weeks ago...

But apparently no one's interested.
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Re: The Game

Postby Pril » Wed May 26, 2010 1:09 pm

Sarvis wrote:
Kifle wrote:Did you ever get laid?


Yes, was actually getting some semi-regularly until about 2 weeks ago...

But apparently no one's interested.



Lilithelle is!
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed May 26, 2010 3:21 pm

Well, ok... since something just developed and I'm confused, hurt and annoyed now.

So back in January I was going through the breakup with Hanh. My friend Emily was there (I'm sure she appears elsewhere in this thread, probably as Ellen or something but screw the aliases) and I kind of broke down in front of her. She ended up driving me back to her place, and I slept in her guest room... as I was laying down she asked me some question I don't remember, but the answer was that I had some feelings for her that were unresolved. We had dated briefly last fall, and she dumped me for another guy who she was still dating at this point.

The next day I apologized and thanked her for being there, and she said it was ok but we'd better not spend time together anymore outside of our group of friends.

In March she calls me up wanting to get drinks, and start hanging out again... turns out she had just dumped her boyfriend. A couple weeks later we're out drinking with some friends, and we end up alone in a bar, then go back to her place just to have a quick nightcap. She suggests sleeping together so we don't have to be lonely while going through our breakups. I figure sure, why not...

So pretty much since then we were sleeping together, until a couple weeks ago.

Here's the thing, as she got over the ex (and started being comfortable hanging out with him frequently) she started backing off of sleeping with me. First she was just a little reluctant, having gone from asking me over frequently to just waiting for me to ask, to trying to back out by wanting to go to bed soon... there were a few days where I backed off a bit, then I got dumped by another girl I'd been dating so called up my FWB for some comfort. We have dinner together and hang out for a few hours, but she denies me coming over to her place. So apparently it's ok to sleep together when SHE'S hurting, but not when I am.

I ask her if our arrangement is over, and she says she would tell me if it was but I don't ask for the next week or so and neither does she.

The other day we were hanging out with some friends, and she starts talking about going back to her place to watch a movie to one of the girls there. As we're leaving she asks me and says it was open to everyone (but doesn't mention that to the other two people who were there) so I tell her I'd think about it. We all go home to clean up, and I take a nap only to get a text from the other girl wondering if I'm showing up and telling me they are about to start the movie! Apparently Emily had to change the time, and didn't tell me. At this point I'm interpreting this as just not wanting me there.

So last night, I get a text from her asking what I was doing that night... I was actually planning on asking her out for a "bon voyage" drink for a trip she's taking soon, and I tell her so. Then she tells me she needs to go car shopping because her car died, and is hoping I can drive her around. I figure sure why not, maybe I can judge her mood and talk to her about the situation. Afterwards we go out for dinner, and after THAT she invites me back to her place at 10pm to watch a movie. Halfway there, she tells me "oh but I don't think you should sleep over."

So that's how she chose to finally end it, AFTER asking me for a big favor and giving me the impression things were cool with us AND right after getting my hopes up by inviting me back so late.

But you know what, that's not the part that bothers me... it's that there seems to be a pattern.

In January I needed comfort and she cut contact (I don't even mean the physical stuff, just having her to hang out with and talk to was good.)
In March she needed comfort and calls me up
In May she no longer needs comfort and withdraws both physical AND platonic contact
Then she needs a ride, so she calls me up again
Only to tell me to get lost the moment she got what she wanted

Should I be feeling used here? Because I am.
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Re: The Game

Postby Corth » Wed May 26, 2010 4:21 pm

Obviously she knows your expectations here, and yet she feels like she can get what she wants out of the relationship without you getting what you want. Don't feel too bad about it, you got to play with her cooter for a while. At best she is trying to transition from fuck buddy to friend, which hardly ever works. At worst she is consciously taking advantage of you. You need to take back a modicum of control. I recommend cutting off any contact outside of group activities and declining any further personal requests from her. If she confronts you about it, tell her that you are not interested in a platonic relationship. No beating around the bush so to speak. She can decide at that point what she wants to do, but one way or another you will no longer be taken advantage of.
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Re: The Game

Postby Tanras » Wed May 26, 2010 7:02 pm

You are the milk.

Why buy it?
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Re: The Game

Postby teflor the ranger » Fri May 28, 2010 4:02 am

Do you even care about this girl Sarvis? I mean, you go for months/weeks at a time not being any part of her life... Just let her know how you feel and then go do something else with your time. I mean, unless she shows up at your door.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Fri May 28, 2010 12:53 pm

teflor the ranger wrote:Just let her know how you feel and then go do something else with your time.


I don't even know how I feel...
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Fri May 28, 2010 2:38 pm

Yes, you are using each other, she just needs you less than you need her. If you found somewhere else to stick your dick, you'd cut her off without considering her feelings or needs just as easily. You're sleeping with each other just as long as you both need comfort. When one or the other stops needing it, you're going to stop fucking.

Edit: Don't fall in love with this girl. She doesn't want to date you. She wanted to sleep with you for a little while so she wouldn't have to wake up alone every day. That's all there is to it, and it looks like that's over now, so move on.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Fri May 28, 2010 2:50 pm

Ragorn wrote:Yes, you are using each other, she just needs you less than you need her. If you found somewhere else to stick your dick, you'd cut her off without considering her feelings or needs just as easily. You're sleeping with each other just as long as you both need comfort. When one or the other stops needing it, you're going to stop fucking.

Edit: Don't fall in love with this girl. She doesn't want to date you. She wanted to sleep with you for a little while so she wouldn't have to wake up alone every day. That's all there is to it, and it looks like that's over now, so move on.


Oh no, I know we were using each other for the sex...

It's that I'm feeling like she was using me before that, and just used me again after. Let's face it, the sex was done two weeks ago... but she was never going to tell me except that she needed help with something. She was just going to cut contact as much as possible again.
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Re: The Game

Postby Tanras » Fri May 28, 2010 3:09 pm

I gotta say. . .of all the dudes I know who engage in casual sex (I know a lot), you are BY FAR the most emotional. I am not really sure it fits you.

The guys I know would just shrug this thing off and move on. If you cannot do that, you should burn the book and find someone looking for something a little deeper. It is not a foregone conclusion that a perpetual state of playerdom is the right life choice. It sounds like it does not fit you AT ALL.

Srsly.
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Re: The Game

Postby teflor the ranger » Fri May 28, 2010 5:40 pm

I've got only a little to add. How you spend your time (who you allow to use you) is your responsibility. Obsession over how other people act, behave, or what they use is useless (she used you? here's the smallest people-using violin playing the shortest song for you).
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Fri May 28, 2010 7:14 pm

Yes Sarvis, she is using you for comfort, both emotional and physical. That is what's happening, you have correctly identified the situation. If you're ok with that, stick your dick in it as long as you can, then move on. If you're not ok with it, then don't stick your dick in it so you don't get hung up on it.

I was casually sleeping with my ex for a while before I decided to cut it off, because I know she's using the sex as a reason to hold on to the idea that we might get back together someday. We're not going to, so I chose to stop sleeping with her. I don't want her to get hurt when I hook up with someone else, just easier that way.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Fri May 28, 2010 7:26 pm

Right, right. I'm ok with being used sexually... really would like some more of that part.

Go back and read the parts before and after. It feels like she was using me then too... or am I overreacting?
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Sat May 29, 2010 5:34 am

Yes Sarvis, she is using you for comfort, both emotional and physical.

she is using you for comfort, both emotional and physical

for comfort, both emotional and physical

for comfort, both emotional

emotional


Yes Sarvis, she is using you for comfort, both emtional and physical. When she doesn't need to bitch about her life to you anymore, she's going to stop putting out.
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Re: The Game

Postby Pril » Fri Oct 01, 2010 12:54 pm

Image
Ragorn
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Fri Oct 01, 2010 3:24 pm

Beat me to it.
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Fri Oct 01, 2010 3:25 pm

Oh, also, I got back together with my ex.
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Re: The Game

Postby Pril » Fri Oct 01, 2010 4:37 pm

Ragorn wrote:Oh, also, I got back together with my ex.


Is she a stripper? If not then we have no interest!
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Fri Oct 01, 2010 5:20 pm

Pril wrote:
Ragorn wrote:Oh, also, I got back together with my ex.


Is she a stripper? If not then we have no interest!



I still miss Kayla sometimes...

In other news, I've actually been dating a girl for a couple months now.
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Re: The Game

Postby Corth » Fri Oct 01, 2010 5:23 pm

You've been with this new girl for two months and yet you can't stop thinking about the stripper who spurned you. Sounds like a very healthy new relationship there. :)
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Fri Oct 01, 2010 6:32 pm

Shit, let's kick this bitch back into high gear.

Sarvis, go!
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Re: The Game

Postby Ambar » Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:20 pm

This is the song that never ends ..
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:44 pm

Corth wrote:You've been with this new girl for two months and yet you can't stop thinking about the stripper who spurned you. Sounds like a very healthy new relationship there. :)



Nah, she only comes up occassionally. Still think about Hanh a lot though...
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Re: The Game

Postby teflor the ranger » Fri Oct 01, 2010 9:04 pm

Why you all gotta be so mean to Sarvis?
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Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:28 pm

Naked pics or it didn't happen.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:24 pm

Ok, had to share this with someone.

Kayla used to dance to Radiohead's Creep in her first set every night. So kind of a sweet memory trigger.

Except just now, the fattest guy in our office just started signing it out loud for no reason...

So much for that memory, I guess.
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:27 pm

You fell in love with a stripper who dances to a song about loneliness, regret, and misery. That's classy.
- Ragorn
Shar: Leave the moaning to the people who have real issues to moan about like rangers or newbies.
Corth: Go ask out a chick that doesn't wiggle her poon in people's faces for a living.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:41 pm

I always figured there were two possibilities there. One is that she was dancing to "I don't belong here" because she really hated being a stripper. The other was that she thought I was creepy and was trying to send a message to me.

Of course, since I never really listened to the lyrics while she was dancing I didn't pick up on either possibility until after the fact.

Still, it's better than the girl who danced to "It's always better when the stripper is crying."

Well, maybe not... because that was hilarious.
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