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Democrats do Sports the way they do National Security

Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 2:23 am
by teflor the ranger
Ok, listen up sports-persons! Before we get out there, we just want to let you know that your coaches have prepared you all wrong. They're always thinking about the last game in stead of this one. But that's not as important because how you play the game or what the game is, just isn't important to us because of that time you accidentally hit one of the spectators in the stands. Yes, he tried to take the ball, gave your buddy a severe season-ending injury and was ruining the game, but he was still a spectator and you were wrong to try to stop him. Oh, one note from the manager, your equipment is faulty and it isn't anywhere close to the best, despite all of the testing and standards your coaches have developed, we'll just call your equipment substandard. It just won't protect you.

Nevermind the fact that the administrators put us into a kind of sport that we're not even prepared to play. But we've developed some rules to keep you safe. If you don't play in a way that can even be perceived as dirty, the other team will NEVER try any dirty tricks on you. And if they do, then you can at least feel like you're better than them MORALLY while they're stamping your face into the dirt. But don't count on our support. Half of the crowd on your side of the stands thinks that you shouldn't be playing. They think that you just weren't smart enough to go into something else. But don't worry, they'll seize on any chance to criticize how you play and why you play and sympathize with the other team at every chance they get.

NOW GET OUT THERE AND WIN! WIN! WIN! but in less than 12 months.