Death procs

Archive of the Sojourn3 Gameplay Discussion Forum.
Gyrx
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Death procs

Postby Gyrx » Sat Aug 02, 2003 9:19 am

I heard a long time ago from an imm that all death procs were going to be removed, is this still the case?
Guest

Postby Guest » Sun Aug 03, 2003 8:51 pm

No.

Most were, some are not.

That is all.

-G
Stamm
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Postby Stamm » Sun Aug 03, 2003 11:05 pm

Not that I'm concerned either way...

Do you mean procs on death? I.e. the different message that happens when a damage proc happens to finish off a mob?

Or do you mean a proc that causes a death?
Gyrx
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Postby Gyrx » Sun Aug 03, 2003 11:31 pm

When you're chillin at 900 hps with death pact up and some blind mob uses his eye and you're instantly at the login screen. To me, that's a death proc. Nothing you can do, wham. Doesn't take into account any level of skill or preparation.
Salen
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Postby Salen » Mon Aug 04, 2003 12:03 am

Heh, you mean the death proc that was added after we were told they were all being taken out and replaced with 'more interesting procs'.

I've only seen it 1x, then I refused to ever do the fight again.

Though, think of it this way, when hp get downgraded, it won't matter for them.
Guest

Postby Guest » Mon Aug 04, 2003 12:51 am

You all sure you don't mean death traps?
Them is different from death procs.
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Postby Salen » Mon Aug 04, 2003 1:37 am

No, I didn't say anything about Michael Caine or Christopher Reeve.
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Postby Dizzin » Mon Aug 04, 2003 1:38 am

Nope, I remember it too. I could swear we were told all instant-deathprocs without a definite save were going to be yanked in favor of different ideas. This deathproc remaining I have yet to see be saved against, except for the save the mob rolls to actually proc it :P. And the fact that it'll take you out if your pet is zapped is kinda sad too. :P Heck, even TIAMAT had her deathproc yoinked, course.. she was yoinked soon after!

Shrug.
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Postby Eilistraee » Mon Aug 04, 2003 2:17 am

http://www.sojourn3.org/phpBB2/viewtopi ... =tenth+eye

But I'll highlight the area for you, although the second try did result in a beholder frag.

The ancient beholder barely bites A air elemental.
The ancient beholder barely bites A air elemental.
The ancient beholder glances at you with his second eye.
The ancient beholder blasts you with a mass of acid, causing intense burning.
OUCH! That really did HURT!
The ancient beholder glances at you with his third eye.
You feel yourself slowing down.
The ancient beholder glances at you with his fourth eye.
A wave of weakness sweeps over you!
You feel like your fingers are coated in butter!
A wave of infirmity passes over you!
You feel really really dumb
You forget all the spells you are trying to memorizing.
You forget all the memorized spells.
The ancient beholder glances at you with his sixth eye.
The ancient beholder tries to dispel Gibi's magic!
And fails miserably...
The spell cast by the ancient beholder harmlessly evaporates around A air elemental.
The ancient beholder tries to dispel your magic!
The ancient beholder tries to dispel Shalieia's magic!
And fails miserably...
The ancient beholder glances at you with his seventh eye.
The ancient beholder sends a rainbow of prismatic spray from its hands!
The ancient beholder sends a green shaft of light streaking towards Gibi!
Gibi shivers slightly.
The ancient beholder sends a azure shaft of light streaking towards A air elemental!
A air elemental seems to be blinded!
The ancient beholder sends a yellow shaft of light streaking towards YOU!
OUCH! That really did HURT!
The ancient beholder sends a azure shaft of light streaking towards Shalieia!
Shalieia seems to be blinded!
The ancient beholder sends a yellow shaft of light streaking towards Shalieia!
The ancient beholder glances at you with his ninth eye.
The ancient beholder burns the initials of its God onto your breast, OUCH!
OUCH! That really did HURT!
The ancient beholder glances at you with his tenth eye.

< 572h/836H 120v/120V T: air TC: few scratches E: beholder EC: excellent >
Gibi starts casting an offensive spell called 'power word blind'.

< 572h/836H 120v/120V T: air TC: few scratches E: beholder EC: excellent > Gibi completes his spell...
Gibi utters the words, 'power word blind'
You don't have that spell memorized.

< 572h/836H 120v/120V T: air TC: few scratches E: beholder EC: excellent > s
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Postby Salen » Mon Aug 04, 2003 2:24 am

Show me a 4/10 eye combo that doesn't kill.
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Postby Dizzin » Mon Aug 04, 2003 2:48 am

That's all well and good. But 10th eyeing isn't the proc I was talking about. :)
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Postby Bipple » Mon Aug 04, 2003 3:51 am

Near the start of this wipe we were told all instant death procs would be removed and no new ones would be added. It was one of the forgers which told us this, I don't recall which but it was communicated to all the players.
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Postby Dalar » Mon Aug 04, 2003 7:20 am

Bipple wrote:Near the start of this wipe we were told all instant death procs would be removed and no new ones would be added. It was one of the forgers which told us this, I don't recall which but it was communicated to all the players.


it was obviously kia
It will be fixed in Toril 2.0.
Aremat group-says 'tanks i highly suggest investing 20 silver in training weapons from cm to cut down on the losing scales to shield'
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Postby Shuanerst » Mon Aug 04, 2003 11:39 am

Here are some of the lowlights of that night (Only deaths where I have good hp information)
a) Korris was at 747, took one hit and a proc
b) Sszantiel was at 992 took three hits and a proc
Korris was at 737, took three hits and a proc
c) Ssissu was out of the room! Proc on pet turned into a proc on Ssissu (both died)
d) (Not listed) Ssissu's tendrils aggro'ed his guildmaster after a death -> another death (and a imm res)

===========

Group information for ruh roh...we're all gunna die!
Size: 5
Unsplit Coins: 0 platinum 0 gold 0 silver 0 copper
(Head) 747/969 hit, 135/135 move, 366/366 psp Korris
774/972 hit, 127/127 move, 381/381 psp Ssissu
Sszantiel
Ssissiv
695/583 hit, 126/127 move, 401/401 psp Sservis
< 695h/583H 401p 126v T: Ssissu TC: small wounds E: general EC: small wounds P:std >
A phantasmal tendril loosens its grip on Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor.
< 694h/583H 401p 127v T: Ssissu TC: small wounds E: general EC: small wounds P: std >
Ssissu completes her spell...
Ssissu utters the words, 'spaihagwar hunsoefurg'
A dark mist rises from beneath your feet, slowly seeping across the ground.
Ssissiv flies in from the west.
< 694h/583H 401p 127v T: Ssissu TC:
40;1m small wounds E: general EC: small wounds P: std >
Korris completes his spell...
Korris utters the words, 'yafqz wuggurzg'
The spell cast by Korris harmlessly evaporates around Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor.
The spell cast by Korris harmlessly evaporates around Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor.
Korris fires three force missiles into Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor.
< 693h< 693h/583H 401p 127v T: Ssissu TC: small wounds E: general EC: small wounds P: std >
You miss Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor with your crush.
Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor attacks Ssissu, landing a single hit.
Aralesh Tandra emits a blazing beam of light from his eyes striking Ssissu in the chest, turning her to ash!
Ssissu is dead! R.I.P.
Your blood freezes as you hear the rattling death cry of Ssissu.
Ssissu has left the group.

========

Group information for ruh roh...we're all gunna die!
Size: 5
Unsplit Coins: 0 platinum 0 gold 0 silver
3m 0 copper
(Head) 737/954 hit, 134/135 move, 308/366 psp Korris
Ssissu
992/1032 hit, 125/125 move, 221/260 psp Sszantiel
640/946 hit, 130/130 move, 18/381 psp Ssissiv
806/806 hit, 127/127 move, 401/401 psp Sservis
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Ssissiv starts casting an offensive spell.
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Sszantiel starts casting an offensive spell.
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Korris completes his spell...
Korris utters the words, 'yafqz wuggurzg'
The spell cast by Korris harmlessly evaporates around Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor.
Korris fires three force missiles into Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor.
Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor attacks Sszantiel, landing three hits.
Aralesh Tandra emits a blazing beam of light from his eyes striking Sszantiel in the chest, turning him to ash!
Sszantiel is dead! R.I.P.
Your blood freezes as you hear the rattling death cry of Sszantiel.
Sszantiel stops invoking abruptly!
Sszantiel has left the group.
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
get coins corpse
You do not see or have the corpse.
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
stand
t ssissiv fhealing you!
cast 'full heal' ssissiv
Ssissiv completes his spell...
Ssissiv utters the words, 'qaighfuqhuai'
Ssissiv makes a slight gripping gesture and Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor's eyes bug out in pain!
You are already standing.
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
You tell Ssissiv 'fhealing you!'
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
You start chanting...
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Casting: full heal ***
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Ssissiv attempts to flee.
Ssissiv flies west.
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Nobody here by that name.
You abort your prayer before its done!
Ssissu group-says 'and now he'll deathproc you all'
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Ssissiv flies in from the west.
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Korris starts casting an offensive spell.
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Ssissu group-says 'yep'
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Ssissu group-says 'stare'
< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Korris completes his spell...
Korris utters the words, 'yafqz wuggurzg'
The spell cast by Korris harmlessly evaporates around Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor.
The spell cast by Korris harmlessly evaporates around Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor.
Korris fires three force missiles into Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor.
< 806h< 806h/806H 401p 127v P: std >
Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor attacks Korris, landing three hits.
Aralesh Tandra emits a blazing beam of light from his eyes
striking Korris in the chest, turning him to ash!
Korris is dead! R.I.P.
Your blood freezes as you hear the rattling death cry of Korris.
The lizard man realizes that Korris is a jerk!
Korris has left the group.
The person you consented to has just quit the game.

==================

Group information for ruh roh...we're all gunna die!
Size: 6
Unsplit Coins: 0 platinum 0 gold 0 silver 0 copper
(Head) Korris
375/894 hit, 166/166 move, 0/0 psp The lizard man
875/962 hit, 128/130 move, 79/381 psp Ssissiv
Sszantiel
Ssissu
772/772 hit, 127/127 move, 401/401 psp Sservis
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
Ssissiv starts casting a spell.
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
stand
t lizard fhealing you!
cast 'full heal' lizard
Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor stops chanting abruptly!
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
You are already standing.
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
No-one by that name here...
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
You start chanting...
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
Korris slithers in from the south.
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
Ssissiv completes his spell...
Ssissiv utters the words, 'efaoaigqarzg'
The lizard man's skin transforms into hard-plated dragon scales.
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
Korris starts casting an offensive spell.
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
Casting: full heal **
Aralesh Tandra emits a blazing beam of light from his eyes striking The lizard man in the chest, turning him to ash!
The lizard man is dead! R.I.P.
Your blood freezes as you hear the rattling death cry of The lizard man.
Aralesh Tandra emits a blazing beam of light from his eyes striking Ssissu in the chest, turning her to ash!
Your skin crawls as you hear a death cry nearby!
get coins corpse
Ssissu has left the group.
Ssissu has quit the game, consent lost.
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
You're busy spellcasting!
< 772h/772H 401p 127v P: std >
Nobody here by that name.
You abort your prayer before its done!

============
rylan
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Postby rylan » Mon Aug 04, 2003 12:43 pm

hrm suspicious. I'd be especially ticked about dying because your pet gets hit with a deathproc.
Guest

Postby Guest » Mon Aug 04, 2003 6:44 pm

I was who was campaigning to remove them all, and I got most of them gone and replaced with more interesting (or more deadly in the long run) procs.

Some however, I left, like the Purple Wyrm and others, because I thought they were really cool :)

Some of the areas/procs however, the area maker demanded they be a certain way, so thats the way it was. I picked my battles, wasn't worth fighting over.

Got rid of as many as I could, and I believe that most if not all of the remaining ones have a save of some kind (it either might not be evident, might be VERY rare, it might not have a message when you save, or it requires something that you don't use often)...or it might not, you never really know.

Enjoy

-G
Guest

Postby Guest » Mon Aug 04, 2003 9:23 pm

Dalar wrote:
Bipple wrote:Near the start of this wipe we were told all instant death procs would be removed and no new ones would be added. It was one of the forgers which told us this, I don't recall which but it was communicated to all the players.


it was obviously kia


No, it wasn't me and the insinuation is both ignorant and insulting.
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Postby Salen » Mon Aug 04, 2003 11:16 pm

Typo, btw.
Is it Tandar or Tandra? Mob says one, proc says another.

Aralesh Tandar, Defender of Arvandor attacks Ssissu, landing a single hit.

Aralesh Tandra emits a blazing beam of light from his eyes striking Ssissu in the chest, turning her to ash!
Dalar
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Postby Dalar » Tue Aug 05, 2003 3:32 am

Kiaransalee wrote:
Dalar wrote:
Bipple wrote:Near the start of this wipe we were told all instant death procs would be removed and no new ones would be added. It was one of the forgers which told us this, I don't recall which but it was communicated to all the players.


it was obviously kia


No, it wasn't me and the insinuation is both ignorant and insulting.

you almost made me laugh
It will be fixed in Toril 2.0.

Aremat group-says 'tanks i highly suggest investing 20 silver in training weapons from cm to cut down on the losing scales to shield'
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Postby Ragorn » Tue Aug 05, 2003 6:00 am

Something, somewhere, might be able to save you from this, but you don't know what. It might be an item or a save, or something you don't use very much, or a skill or stat or racial innate. It might work sometimes or it might not work all of the time, or sometimes it might never work most of the time, but it certainly won't almost always not never sometimes rarely not usually work. Either way, there's no message to indicate that something you might not always not have has not never saved you.

I hope that clears it up.
- Ragorn
Shar: Leave the moaning to the people who have real issues to moan about like rangers or newbies.
Corth: Go ask out a chick that doesn't wiggle her poon in people's faces for a living.
Guest

Postby Guest » Tue Aug 05, 2003 6:01 am

Shuanerst wrote:c) Ssissu was out of the room! Proc on pet turned into a proc on Ssissu (both died)
d) (Not listed) Ssissu's tendrils aggro'ed his guildmaster after a death -> another death (and a imm res)


c) was also imm ressed and code has been fixed.
d) I still need to trackdown, but it is a known problem
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Postby Llaaldara » Tue Aug 05, 2003 1:36 pm

Ragorn wrote:Something, somewhere, might be able to save you from this, but you don't know what. It might be an item or a save, or something you don't use very much, or a skill or stat or racial innate. It might work sometimes or it might not work all of the time, or sometimes it might never work most of the time, but it certainly won't almost always not never sometimes rarely not usually work. Either way, there's no message to indicate that something you might not always not have has not never saved you.

I hope that clears it up.


ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

I think I found my new end quote! Omg Ragorn you had me busting up laughing this morning when I still got crusties in my eyes :lol:

-LL

"It might work sometimes or it might not work all of the time, or sometimes it might never work most of the time, but it certainly won't almost always not never sometimes rarely not usually work.-Ragorn
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Postby Nokie » Tue Aug 05, 2003 3:13 pm

Sure they can be avoided! Just don't fight the mob that insta-kills you :)
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Postby Dlur » Tue Aug 05, 2003 3:36 pm

Ragorn wrote:Something, somewhere, might be able to save you from this, but you don't know what. It might be an item or a save, or something you don't use very much, or a skill or stat or racial innate. It might work sometimes or it might not work all of the time, or sometimes it might never work most of the time, but it certainly won't almost always not never sometimes rarely not usually work. Either way, there's no message to indicate that something you might not always not have has not never saved you.

I hope that clears it up.


This pretty much sums up the entire Sojourn experience in one paragraph. Yay.
Ghimok|Dlur|Emeslan|Ili|Zinse|Teniv
*~~~~~~~~~~*
"Censorship is telling a man he can't eat a steak just because a baby can't chew it." - Mark Twain
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Postby Salen » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:11 pm

Salen dodges all thier instant death procs.

Hi5 Nokie.
Ragorn
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Postby Ragorn » Tue Aug 05, 2003 9:32 pm

Death Proc Resistance Testing

The circular dungeon chamber was damp and a little cold. The only light came from a small globe, a foot in diameter, that levitated over the occupants. A low 5' wide corridor snaked out from the south of the room, and there was a large, reinforced wooden door set firmly in the north portion of the wall.

The occupants were a mixmatched group. A mean looking Drow Elf with dark skin was scribbling away on a clipboard with a magical quill. Standing next to her was a slightly taller Grey Elf with long, pointy ears. The Grey Elf was looking sternly at a beefy Barbarian hunched near the northern door. The Barbarian looked ridiculously out of place. He held a long branch in his hand and had a large square of bark tied to his left arm. He wore no other armor or protective gear, except for a blazing, fiery crown which sat crooked on his pointy head.

"I'm not going back in there," the Barbarian said.

The Grey Elf frowned. The Drow continued to scribble. "You have to. We have to finish our research," the Grey said.

"You don't know what that thing does to me."

The Grey chuckled. "Yes, I do. That's why we're here. Now go."

The Barbarian stamped his foot and pouted. "No!" he yelled.

The Grey Elf took a small knapsack off his shoulder and fished around in it with his free hand. He smiled at the Barbarian. "Now Thanuk.... do you want the cookie or don't you?"

Internal conflict ravaged across the face of the poor Barbarian. He seemed to fight a battle with himself, first looking resolute, then thoughtful, then scared. In the end, he whimpered a soft "yes."

"That's good. Now just go in there. It'll be ok. I promise."

Thanuk shuffled toward the door and put his hand on the handle. He looked back over his shoulder at the Elf reproachfully. The Elf gave an approving nod. With a sigh, Thanuk opened the door and went inside.

Seconds later, the two Elves heard the patter of feet running quickly, some muffled roars, a loud crunching noise, and finally a chilling, Dwarvish scream. The darker Elf sighed. "Well Salen," she said, "looks like the Surtur test is a no-go."

Salen nodded. "Go get him, LLaaldara. We'll try something else." Llaaldara nodded and walked through the north door. Within seconds, she re-entered, dragging the badly mutilated and mostly unrecognizable corpse of Thanuk. She picked up her clipboard and began to scribble again.

Salen began praying, and slowly the wounds on the battered Barbarian body began to close and heal. With the conclusion of Salen's prayer, Thanuk opened his eyes and stood up groggily.

"Yes, well. Ok, it's not the Surtur" Salen said. He plucked the crown from Thanuk's head and shoved a pair of boots shaped like falcons into his hands. "Try the falcon boots."

Thanuk whined. "I don't want to wear the falcon boots," he whimpered. "I don't want to go in the room." He looked sullen. "It... it eats me."

"Yes, Thanuk. Yes, we know. But this is the only way. How about if I give you one of the cookies now, would that be ok?" Thanuk's eyes lit up and he nodded vigorously. Salen reached in his bag and produced a small cookie with chocolate specks. He handed it to Thanuk, who gobbled it down greedily, stuffed his feet into the boots, sprinted to the door, threw it open, and dove in. Within seconds, a hideous cry arose from behind the door, and Salen sighed again.

"It's not the falcon boots." Llaaldara nodded and placed a small checkmark in one of the boxes on Page 1,351,986 of her list, entitled "Items That Might Not Never Save Us From Instant Death Proc."
Last edited by Ragorn on Wed Aug 06, 2003 6:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Ragorn
Shar: Leave the moaning to the people who have real issues to moan about like rangers or newbies.
Corth: Go ask out a chick that doesn't wiggle her poon in people's faces for a living.
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Postby Dezzex » Tue Aug 05, 2003 9:41 pm

hahahahaha...

even I have to admit that was funny.
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Postby Dlur » Wed Aug 06, 2003 12:25 am

Now that's humor Ragorn. I'd buy that if you could fit it on a t-shirt!
Ghimok|Dlur|Emeslan|Ili|Zinse|Teniv

*~~~~~~~~~~*

"Censorship is telling a man he can't eat a steak just because a baby can't chew it." - Mark Twain
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Postby Llaaldara » Wed Aug 06, 2003 12:55 am

:shock:

Good thing I went to the bathroom before I read this!! :lol:

I could kiss you Ragorn for making me laugh so hard! :D :D You Insta-Cured my headache I had! :wink:

"Items That Might Not Never Save Us From Instant Death Proc."

If you're this funny all the time, like roll an evil. I need to group with you! :wink:

Omg, you actually spelled my name right too! :shock:
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Postby thanuk » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:00 am

I'm a barbarian, you son of a bitch.
Mysrel tells you 'have my babies'
You tell Mysrel 'u want me to be ur baby daddy?'
Mysrel tells you 'daddy? No, I think you have the terminology wrong'
You tell Mysrel 'comeon now we both know i would be the top'
Mysrel tells you 'can be where ever you want to be, yer still getting ****** like a drunken cheerleader'
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Postby Ragorn » Wed Aug 06, 2003 6:03 am

Heh.. someone told me dwarf.

Edited.
- Ragorn
Shar: Leave the moaning to the people who have real issues to moan about like rangers or newbies.
Corth: Go ask out a chick that doesn't wiggle her poon in people's faces for a living.
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Postby thanuk » Wed Aug 06, 2003 6:38 pm

Death Proc Resistance Testing

The circular dungeon chamber was damp and a little cold. The only light came from a small globe, a foot in diameter, that levitated over the occupants. A low 5' wide corridor snaked out from the south of the room, and there was a large, reinforced wooden door set firmly in the north portion of the wall.

The occupants were a mixmatched group. A mean looking Drow Elf with dark skin was scribbling away on a clipboard with a magical quill. Standing next to her was a slightly taller Grey Elf with long, pointy ears. The Grey Elf was looking sternly at a beefy Barbarian hunched near the northern door. The Barbarian looked ridiculously out of place. He held a long branch in his hand and had a large square of bark tied to his left arm. He wore no other armor or protective gear, except for a blazing, fiery crown which sat crooked on his pointy head.

"I'm not going back in there," the Barbarian said.

The Grey Elf frowned. The Drow continued to scribble. "You have to. We have to finish our research," the Grey said.

"You don't know what that thing does to me."

The Grey chuckled. "Yes, I do. That's why we're here. Now go."

The Barbarian stamped his foot and pouted. "No!" he yelled.

The Grey Elf took a small knapsack off his shoulder and fished around in it with his free hand. He smiled at the Barbarian. "Now Thanuk.... do you want the cookie or don't you?"

Internal conflict ravaged across the face of the poor Barbarian. He seemed to fight a battle with himself, first looking resolute, then thoughtful, then scared. In the end, he whimpered a soft "yes."

"That's good. Now just go in there. It'll be ok. I promise."

Thanuk shuffled toward the door and put his hand on the handle. He looked back over his shoulder at the Elf reproachfully. The Elf gave an approving nod. With a sigh, Thanuk opened the door and went inside.

Thanuk entered the the cavern, and faced the massive purple worm before him. The worm roared angrily, and leaned over to ingest the massive beast. Seconds before tearing into the flesh of the helpless warrior, the worm froze in it's place. He and the barbarian both immediately burst into laughter. The barbarian shushed the giant worm, and pointed to a dwarf in the corner.

"Ready?" Dala said, motioning to Thanuk. The barbarian nodded, and began stomping his feet rapidly, almost running in place. Dala tossed a mangled corpse Thanuk over to the barbarian, who quickly attached his crown to the corpse. He let out a blood-curtling scream, and the wormed roared angrily on cue. He then hid in the shadows next to Dala.

Seconds later, the two Elves heard the patter of feet running quickly, some muffled roars, a loud crunching noise, and finally a chilling, Dwarvish scream. The darker Elf sighed. "Well Salen," she said, "looks like the Surtur test is a no-go."

Salen nodded. "Go get him, LLaaldara. We'll try something else." Llaaldara nodded and walked through the north door. Within seconds, she re-entered, dragging the badly mutilated and mostly unrecognizable corpse of Thanuk. She picked up her clipboard and began to scribble again.

Salen began praying, and slowly the wounds on the battered Barbarian body began to close and heal. With the conclusion of Salen's prayer, Thanuk opened his eyes and stood up groggily.

"Yes, well. Ok, it's not the Surtur" Salen said. He plucked the crown from Thanuk's head and shoved a pair of boots shaped like falcons into his hands. "Try the falcon boots."

Thanuk whined. "I don't want to wear the falcon boots," he whimpered. "I don't want to go in the room." He looked sullen. "It... it eats me."

"Yes, Thanuk. Yes, we know. But this is the only way. How about if I give you one of the cookies now, would that be ok?" Thanuk's eyes lit up and he nodded vigorously. Salen reached in his bag and produced a small cookie with chocolate specks. He handed it to Thanuk, who gobbled it down greedily, stuffed his feet into the boots, sprinted to the door, threw it open, and dove in.

Thanuk rolled into the room, and the worm once again roared and bent down to eat him. This time, the barbarian tossed the cookie he had palmed into the worm's mouth, and it let out a pleasant grunt. Just as before, Dala tossed him his corpse, which he adorned this time with falcon boots. He screamed and again ran into the corner.
"How many corpses do we have left?" he asked the dwarf.
"Looks like 50 or 60 still." Dala replied.
"Damn. They'll never figure out that it's the leather penis sheath." Thanuk chuckled to himself.
"Nope. We're so l33t." The dwarf responded.
"Ub3r l33t, Dala, ub3r l33t."

Within seconds, a hideous cry arose from behind the door, and Salen sighed again.

"It's not the falcon boots." Llaaldara nodded and placed a small checkmark in one of the boxes on Page 1,351,986 of her list, entitled "Items That Might Not Never Save Us From Instant Death Proc."
Mysrel tells you 'have my babies'

You tell Mysrel 'u want me to be ur baby daddy?'

Mysrel tells you 'daddy? No, I think you have the terminology wrong'

You tell Mysrel 'comeon now we both know i would be the top'

Mysrel tells you 'can be where ever you want to be, yer still getting ****** like a drunken cheerleader'
Llaaldara
Sojourner
Posts: 998
Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Dobluth Kyor

Postby Llaaldara » Wed Aug 06, 2003 7:31 pm

The DVD Alternate ending to that story sucked. :P
Ionari
Sojourner
Posts: 101
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Portland OR

Postby Ionari » Wed Aug 06, 2003 10:22 pm

thanuk wrote:I'm a barbarian, you son of a bitch.


ROFLMAO!!!

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