Examples of Canadians in Mudding Situations

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Ulnd
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Location: Calgary,Alberta,Canada

Examples of Canadians in Mudding Situations

Postby Ulnd » Mon Mar 05, 2001 10:07 pm

Example #1

Tiamat enshrouds you in a mist of blood with her deadly hit!
OUCH! That really did HURT!
Tiamat half kills you with her mighty hit!
YIKES! Another hit like that, and you've had it!!
Tiamat's final blow sends you to meet your maker.
With a final blow, you feel yourself falling to the ground.

*** Welcome to Sojourn ***
0) Leave Faerun for a Time.
1) Enter the realms of Sojourn.
2) See who is currently playing.
3) Read the background story.
4) Change your password.
5) Enter your character description.
6) Delete this character.

Make your choice: 1
You rejoin the land of the living...
Welcome to Sojourn MUD

Canadian tells Tiamat 'sorry bout that, did'nt mean to bump into you there'


Example #2

You swring_really_badly and sending your {weapon} flying!

A podwife picks up a {weapon}.
A podwife wields a {weapon}.

You say 'sorry about that, did that belong to you?.'

Example #3

Tiamat lies here bleeding and will die soon without aid.

You bandage Tiamat whose wounds appear not quite so life threatning.

You say 'sorry bout that eh, I don't know what the heck came over me.'

You blush furiously.

Example # 3.

You shout 'FS Titanium ring, 2k +7%GST +14%PST'

The End.

Ulnd/Folrath
Saitcho
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Postby Saitcho » Mon Mar 05, 2001 11:36 pm

i must be completely dense cuz i dont get this if its supposed to be a joke.

saitcho
Ulnd
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Location: Calgary,Alberta,Canada

Postby Ulnd » Tue Mar 06, 2001 12:24 am

Bahh, it's is for Canadians..
moritheil
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Postby moritheil » Tue Mar 06, 2001 9:19 am

I get it, although it would be funnier if I were Canadian :P

- Mori, who's met Canadians in odd places but not in Canada.
Lolok Frozencrow
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Postby Lolok Frozencrow » Tue Mar 06, 2001 5:59 pm

ROFL !!!

#5 only a Canadian would have 2 example #3's

#6 You shout 'FS red and white tuque(sp) eh!'

#7 *** Welcome to Sojourn ***
0) Leave Faerun for a Time.
1) Enter the realms of Sojourn.
2) See who is currently playing.
3) Read the background story.
4) Change your password.
5) Enter your character description.
6) Delete this character.
7) Play after you shovel the drive.

#7 a Huge moose lies here bleeding and will die soon without aid.

You get 'a corpse of a huge moose'

You drop 'a corpse of a Huge moose'into your pick up.

L ImageL ImageK
Ulnd
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Location: Calgary,Alberta,Canada

Postby Ulnd » Tue Mar 06, 2001 9:49 pm

LOL, some good additions Image.
Jhorr
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Postby Jhorr » Tue Mar 06, 2001 10:39 pm

< 120h/278H 100m/94M 65v/111V > who canadian s

Listing of the Mortals!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[ Anon ] Mario (Drow) (Watching Hockey)
[ Anon ] Jaromir (Half-Elf) (AFK)
[39 Sor] Plues (Half-Orc) (Watching Hockey)
[28 Cle] Hormer (Dwarf) (Watching Hockey)
[24 Pal] Sardon (Human) (AFK)
[20 War] Blir (Troll) (Watching Hockey)
[16 War] Jhorr (Dwarf) (AFK)
[16 Con] Juketa (Human) (Watching Hockey)
[16 Bzk] Feek (Troll) (AFK)

There are 9 visible mortals on.

Total visible players: 10.
Record number of players on this boot: 19.

< 120h/278H 100m/94M 66v/111V >
Harthorm
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Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Postby Harthorm » Wed Mar 07, 2001 1:06 am

< 350h/352H 65v/111V > look
The Turning Point
A Jean Chretien stands here.

< 351h/352H 70v/111V > con chretien
Easy.

< 352h/352H 72v/111V > lick chretien
You lick him.

< 352h/352H 80v/111V >
A Jean Chretien scowls at you. Wait, he always looks like that.

< 352h/352H 91v/111V > kill chretien
You slash A Jean Chretien.
You slash A Jean Chretien very hard.
A Jean Chretien misses you with his feeble hit.

< 352h/352H 92v/111V >
You slash A Jean Chretien very hard.
Your land a mighty slash on a Jean Chretien!
A Jean Chretien puts you in a headlock and begins strangling you!

< 300h/352H 93v/111V > You can't breathe!
kick
You kick a Jean Chretien in the sack.
A Jean Chretien loses his stranglehold.
A Jean Chretien attempts to flee but can't make it out of here!

< 300h/352H 95v/111V >
Your land a mighty slash on A Jean Chretien!
Your mighty slash enshrouds A Jean Chretien in a mist of blood!
A Jean Chretien punches you viciously in the throat!
You are stunned!

< 135h/352H 98v/111V >
A Jean Chretien half kills you with his mighty hit!
YIKES! Another blow like that, and you've had it!

< 20h/352H 100v/111V > stand
You scramble madly to your feet.
Your final slash decapitates A Jean Chretien!
You receive your share of experience!

< 21h/352H 101v/111V > pant
You pant like a dog.

Yeah... I wish! Image

Harthorm/Twiblin
Gormal
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Postby Gormal » Wed Mar 07, 2001 3:02 am

You all do know how they picked the name for canada right?
they pulled letters out of a hat...
C
ay?
n
ay?
d
ay?
!
Enjoy you flapping headed beady-eyed canadian mofos!
Harthorm
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Postby Harthorm » Wed Mar 07, 2001 3:27 am

Ummm... it's pronounced "eh", eh? Silly Americans.

Harthorm/Twiblin
Gormal
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Postby Gormal » Wed Mar 07, 2001 8:02 am

i was afraid some of the less competant people on this board would not get the joke....*coughyasdencough* if i did not write it the way i did
Ulnd
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Postby Ulnd » Wed Mar 07, 2001 8:28 am

ROFL Harthorm

Another Example

You look at a Canadian Mudder...

Head...............A red and White Touk
face...............A Blue goalie mask
Neck...............A red scarf(glowing)
Neck...............A red scarf(glowing)
about body.........A Toronto Leafs Jersey
on body............A Neon Hunting Jacket
wielded two-handed.A sharpened hockey stick
worn on legs.......A pair of shin pads
feet...............A pair of Hockey Skates
Ruhr
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Postby Ruhr » Wed Mar 07, 2001 8:50 am

Canadian mudder:

Canuck: Whatddaya mean I HAVE TO PAY FOR TRAINING?!? Education is FREE in Canada, ya know.

Guild master: Out wi'ya socialist scum!

Shopkeeper: That'll be 12 gold for those healing potions.

Canuck: uhh, at home we get health care for FREE, ya know.

Shopkeeper: Guards!



Canuck (talking with Lord P.): These damn *Merkins* they actually think that North America is only comprised of the United States–uhh, what about Canada, and Mexico, and the rest of the "Americas," ya know.

Lord P: Out of my way peasant.



Canuk1: I swear I can't stand USians, to hear them tell it they are the only country that matters in the world, and such a dirty country, crime, pollution, guns everywhere; truly a shithole.

Canuk2: Right, right, I so agree. (Pause) So when do you return for school at UCLA?

Canuk1: Oh, next month, I'm really excited!

Canuk2: Yeah, LA is such a cool place, I'm so jealous.

[This message has been edited by Ruhr (edited 03-07-2001).]
Guest

Postby Guest » Wed Mar 07, 2001 12:14 pm

You can tell you're a Canadian living in the USA when . . .

1) everyone teases you because you say "about" *properly*.
2) everyone teases you because you say "eh" once in a while.
3) everyone assumes you speak French.
4) you need to call the police and have to call four different numbers before you locate the correct one.
5) you can't find any Aero bars, Coffee Crisps or Fudgee-Os.
6) you get bewildered at all the paperwork that has to be filled out every time you go to the hospital.
7) the first thing a nurse asks you is "do you have insurance?" instead of "what seems to be the problem?"
8) you realize there's no place to call and get doctor recommendations unless it's a place the doctors paid to be referred by.
9) you see a lot of guns.
10) you are travelling to and from via AmTrak and notice that the TWO US Customs officers are wearing guns and the EIGHT Canadian Customs officers just have dogs.
11) people say they can tell you are Canadian because you are very polite. *ROFL*
12) people automatically think you know Jane Doe from Alberta and you are from Southern Ontario.
13) people try to get you into a long and involved discussion about how Québéc should separate.
14) people you meet laugh and poke fun at Canada's Health Care surgery waiting list and you are told your US surgery has to be scheduled for February because the hospital is all booked till then.
15) people you meet laugh and poke fun at Canada's emergency room "situation" and you end up waiting -- suffering from pneumonia, mind you -- over an 1½ hours in an American waiting room. While you wait you watch emergency patients being stuck on beds in the corridors because there is no bed space. Your spouse finally drags you out of there and has to call 15 doctors before he finds one that accepts your insurance plan and see you right away.

------------------
A'bheinn as àirde tha san tìr, 's ann oirre 's trice chì thu 'n ceò --
<FONT SiZE=1>The highest hill is oftenest covered with clouds.
-- Scots Gaelic proverb.</FONT>

[This message has been edited by Roan (edited 03-07-2001).]
Harthorm
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Postby Harthorm » Thu Mar 08, 2001 4:50 am

Ulnd, Ruhr: ROFL!

Roan: You've got to be kidding me! No Coffee Crisp, Aero bars, OR Fudgee-Os down there??? What do you eat?

*boggle*
Harthorm/Twiblin
Gromsharulaz
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Postby Gromsharulaz » Thu Mar 08, 2001 2:08 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Roan:
<B>5) you can't find any Aero bars, Coffee Crisps or Fudgee-Os.
</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks! I think may now finally have the right argument I need to win the fiance over to living up here instead of dragging me south of the border.

She can't possibly expect me to live without Coffe Crisps! I swear it was demonic possession that had me propose to an american - honest!

Oh and just so you all can feel my pain, her father is a doctor - you have no idea just how often I hear about the terrible state of my socialist health care system... *moan*

Grommie, The "I'm looking forward to my interrogation errr border crossing tonight" Derro of the Underdark
Guest

Postby Guest » Thu Mar 08, 2001 2:21 pm

That's right, no Coffee Crisp, Aero bars or Fudgee-Os. I did find a Canuck web site that delivers though, and every few months I plunk down $30 for some REAL snacks. They even carry President's Choice and Swiss Chalet dipping sauce :P

As for the US health care system -- OMG don't get me started!

One thing Canadians have going for them is the SIMPLE fact that they can go to ANY doctor they want -- so long as they are accepting patients and it's not a specialist, of course. Even down here you need referrals to see a specialist.

All anyone in Canada that is new to a city or region has to do is visit the nearest hosiptal and ask for a list of local doctors. Then you just call them. Or you ask people who their doctor is. Then you just call them.

Down here you have to get an approved list from your insurance company and even THAT doesn't guarantee that the doctor on that list is still accepting that insurance plan. It took us a month to find a decent pediatrician for our daughter and then a month later we received a notice that they were no longer dealing with our insurance company due to "difficulities".

One good thing that came out of the emergency room incident was the fact that the doctor that would see me right away turned out to be one heck of a doctor and she's now our family doctor.

Until her office decides our insurance company is a PITA, of course.

It's really my only gripe about the US of A, seriously.

Oh, and the postal service down here? HAHAHAH! They have Canada beat HANDS DOWN! Man, these guys rule! Not only are the stamps cheaper, but the carriers have their own little trucks to drive around. No buses for these guys :P They even deliver mail on SATURDAYS and pick up mail right at your door! Mail sent to someone in the same city usually gets there the NEXT DAY! Another state? Usually THREE days! Can't beat the US postal service!
Jegzed
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Postby Jegzed » Thu Mar 08, 2001 2:32 pm

As for the US health care system -- OMG don't get me started!

I guess we could have a fun debate here with us Swedes and Canadians arguing for free health care Image

snipped a lot of text
Can't beat the US postal service!
Yep, they even save civilization! Like in that movie "Postman" Image

/Jegzed
Elscint
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Postby Elscint » Thu Mar 08, 2001 2:33 pm

Oh my LORD!

Roan you brought tears to my eyes, the U.S. Postal system rules, hahahahahahaha.

Now maybe I take them for granted because I've lived here all my life, but there are hundreds of thousands of letters lost all the time =P The mail slows down just about every holiday, I've had it take 12 days to get across town during christmas season! And worst of all, they are notorious for going nuts and shooting their co-workers, hence the phrase "going postal".

Elscint Hairytoes (The Halfling Sorcerer)
Luke

P.S. I thought the little trucks comment was so funny though, gosh that made me laugh.
belleshel
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Postby belleshel » Thu Mar 08, 2001 2:43 pm

lol ruhr Image
That reminds me...where did I put my copy of canadian bacon!?
B
cherzra
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Postby cherzra » Thu Mar 08, 2001 2:48 pm

Tell your darn postal service to ship my bloody DVDs faster, I hate waiting 2 weeks for the damn things!
Harthorm
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Postby Harthorm » Thu Mar 08, 2001 11:25 pm

Roan,

Maybe it would be faster to mail around trying to find a doctor down there?

:P

Harthorm/Twiblin
Guest

Postby Guest » Fri Mar 09, 2001 1:02 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Elscint:
Now maybe I take them for granted because I've lived here all my life, but there are hundreds of thousands of letters lost all the time =P The mail slows down just about every holiday, I've had it take 12 days to get across town during christmas season! And worst of all, they are notorious for going nuts and shooting their co-workers, hence the phrase "going postal".</font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

bah, Elscint, you DO take them for granted. A letter mailed in Canada for delivery in the same city usually takes THREE days. To another province -- ONE WEEK! Now, granted Canada is bigger than the US, but geez, not THAT big. I think they're delivering via dog sled at times :P

As for the trucks, Canadian Postal Workers ride buses, they don't get any vehicles to ride around in. Mail gets lost and slows down at Christmas too up there.

Seriously, count your blessings :P

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