Put your mark on a zone!!

Archive of the Sojourn3 General Discussion Forum.
Selias
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Put your mark on a zone!!

Postby Selias » Fri Jun 28, 2002 12:20 am

Ok, I *hate* writing room descriptions, and seeing as the zone skeleton I have has over 200rooms in it, I'm going to need some help writing the descriptions. So here you go, a chance to put your personal mark on a zone! I figure that with a bunch of people writing room descriptions it'll go faster.

If you're feeling up to it, these are the types of rooms I need descriptions for.

A beach
A lush green forest
paths/roads
caves
grass plains

I know they're boring Image but you can jazz them up all you like. I think the minimum is like 4 or 5 good sentences, so just reply with a room description if you are feeling up to it.

Sel
Guest

Postby Guest » Fri Jun 28, 2002 12:22 am

Cheater! The only way you can become a true master of areas is pumping out hundreds of room descriptions! Image

Good luck selias Image

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Kelemvor - God of the Dead, and Cemeteries
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Cyric
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Postby Cyric » Fri Jun 28, 2002 12:38 am

You're kidding, right?

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Corth
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Postby Corth » Fri Jun 28, 2002 12:42 am

Thats what they said to Henry Ford when he proposed the assembly line! Omg, my social studies professor told me this would happen one day if i did my homework!

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Goddamned slippery mage.
Mishre
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Postby Mishre » Fri Jun 28, 2002 2:44 am

Z Beeeeach
Dis iz da Beeeech. its gots sand and stuffs on it, green sea weed all over the place is here toooo. and sharks in water are bad and bite. and water too, with salt in it. diz iz scary cuz crabs crawl all over da place, just like in my pants.
- north - east - south


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Mishri }-Sentinel-{ Shades of Twilight
Dalar
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Postby Dalar » Fri Jun 28, 2002 2:45 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Cyric:
<B>You're kidding, right?

</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

heh didn't you do this during alpha Cyric?

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Dartan group-says 'Malacar I'm going to dropkick you for starting that omg Ymir thing'
Calinth
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Postby Calinth » Fri Jun 28, 2002 2:49 am

Yeah, only he was gonna randomly put together sentences to make a room description. Image

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moritheil
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Postby moritheil » Fri Jun 28, 2002 3:34 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Kelemvor:
<B>Cheater! The only way you can become a true master of areas is pumping out hundreds of room descriptions! Image

Good luck selias Image

</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Focus on the spankage. Prepare zone mobs and code first, so u will be cackling with glee at the mass death that your zone will cause. Then, go back and write innocuous descriptions. That makes it fun.

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Deshana group-says 'guys he's a lil ditzy today'
Daz
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Postby Daz » Fri Jun 28, 2002 3:39 am

I made a 350 room zone, with 90 mobs and 120 items. I now hate descriptions. thx - drive thru :P

lol - however, Selias, If you want - I'll dig up my room descriptions for you :P


btw - so you guys know a couple of old imms remade some zones on a ROT code mud i used to play, they took tons of descriptions from sojourn logs and used em over there :P The guy used the name 'Torm' and his friend was 'Beshaba' - at least as I knew them. :P

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-Daz "<^> (*¿*) <^>" Proudwolf
cherzra
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Postby cherzra » Fri Jun 28, 2002 1:25 pm

Spend time on your room descriptions. Nothing is as much of a bummer to me as rooms with poor descriptions, short descriptions, duplicate descriptions, 50 character lines, etc.

[This message has been edited by cherzra (edited 06-28-2002).]
Jormundgaand
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Postby Jormundgaand » Fri Jun 28, 2002 1:26 pm

As a zone writer (515 rooms, 590 mobs, 90% of these unique, average description length with 78 character lines = 13 lines), I have to take offense to letting other people do your room descriptions.

Writing the zone skeleton is easy enough, heck I can come up with a layout in a few hours. Giving the zone 'life' however, is a whole other business. Room / mob descriptions along with quests that weave a storyline are the most difficult to create. Duplicates are bad. 40 character lines in an attempt to get 6 lines instead of 3, thus hiding your poor descriptions, is bad. Simple descriptions are bad. A zone skeleton means nothing, until you actually give the rooms life.



[This message has been edited by Jormundgaand (edited 06-28-2002).]
Ashiwi
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Postby Ashiwi » Fri Jun 28, 2002 1:47 pm

Write your room descriptions first, including your storyline, then worry about your mobs and items. Gets the room descrips out of the way and lets you play with things to enhance the rooms as written instead of trying to write your room descrips around the mobs and items.
muma
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Postby muma » Fri Jun 28, 2002 4:32 pm

Ok, here i go: i hope this isn't too bad heh

A Dark and Humid Cave

The dark inside this cave is so dense that it seems to be consuming everything around it. Your light barely illuminates, and you can just barely make out the rocky moist wall covered in strange markings. With every small movement your feet sink just a little into the muddy floor. As you raise your light you can see dozens of bats hanging on the ceiling. You can barely breathe in such a humid, closed in space, and the cold makes your breath visible. Water is dropping from above and slowly dripping down the walls. You continue through the cave almost blindly.

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Leah A. W.
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Postby Grungar » Fri Jun 28, 2002 4:34 pm

c 'animate zone skeleton'

You complete your spell...
You see the skeleton of a 500 room behemoth zone take a deep breath, and suddenly come to life again.
Raising your hands triumphantly towards the sky, you shout "It's alive, it's aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!"
The skeleton of a 500 room behemoth zone throws its head back and cackles with insane glee!
The skeleton of a 500 room behemoth zone says 'Awright, time to go prey upon some unsuspecting adventurers!'
The skeleton of a 500 room behemoth zone shambles east.
You say 'Oh crap.'

- Grungar "Are we there yet?" Forgefire
Ashiwi
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Postby Ashiwi » Fri Jun 28, 2002 4:42 pm

Muma - great writing skills, but you might want to check out the zone building docs. Don't refer to the player in the descrip, especially if it involves action. Remember, their feet might sink into the mud as they walk through that room, but they might be standing one room adjacent looking into that room from a rocky shelf.
moritheil
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Postby moritheil » Fri Jun 28, 2002 4:46 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Grungar:
<B>c 'animate zone skeleton'

You complete your spell...
You see the skeleton of a 500 room behemoth zone take a deep breath, and suddenly come to life again.
Raising your hands triumphantly towards the sky, you shout "It's alive, it's aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!"
The skeleton of a 500 room behemoth zone throws its head back and cackles with insane glee!
The skeleton of a 500 room behemoth zone says 'Awright, time to go prey upon some unsuspecting adventurers!'
The skeleton of a 500 room behemoth zone shambles east.
You say 'Oh crap.'

- Grungar "Are we there yet?" Forgefire</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Moritheil cackles with glee in Grungar's face.
Yay a zone skeleton! Moritheil cheers wildly for a zone skeleton!
Jormundgaand
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Postby Jormundgaand » Fri Jun 28, 2002 5:45 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by muma:
<B>Ok, here i go: i hope this isn't too bad heh

A Dark and Humid Cave

The dark inside this cave is so dense that it seems to be consuming everything around it. Your light barely illuminates, and you can just barely make out the rocky moist wall covered in strange markings. With every small movement your feet sink just a little into the muddy floor. As you raise your light you can see dozens of bats hanging on the ceiling. You can barely breathe in such a humid, closed in space, and the cold makes your breath visible. Water is dropping from above and slowly dripping down the walls. You continue through the cave almost blindly.

</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Comments (don't take these the wrong way, just pointing them out since you asked for feedback Image):

-The dark consumes everything around it? IMHO this would sound much better without the 'around it'
-You use 'barely' twice in the same sentence. Likewise, you use 'dropping' and 'dripping' - perhaps it would be nicer to use 'seeping' and 'dripping', or something similar
-It's wrong to assume that players have a light, that they stumble almost blindly, or get sucked into the mud. They might be an ultravision race, without a light, or with a levitation/fly spell
-Players do not actually have to be in the room, they can be looking through a gate or casting a wizard eye spell. Thus, they should not be reading things like 'as you raise your torch,...'
-The walls should be 'covered with' markings, not 'covered in'
-References to 'you' are invorrect, use 'one' if you have to. Preferrably in a construction like 'one might...' or 'one could...', as opposed to 'one sees/notices/feels/...'

Don't take this the wrong way, I'm just pointing out a lot of common mistakes in room descriptions. Most people call me a grammar Nazi anyway Image Anyway, hope to see your zone on the testmud soon.

Jormundgaand, Connoisseur

edit: lost my comments after entering the wrong password


[This message has been edited by Jormundgaand (edited 06-28-2002).]
muma
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Postby muma » Fri Jun 28, 2002 7:11 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Jormundgaand:
<B> Comments (don't take these the wrong way, just pointing them out since you asked for feedback Image):

-The dark consumes everything around it? IMHO this would sound much better without the 'around it'
-You use 'barely' twice in the same sentence. Likewise, you use 'dropping' and 'dripping' - perhaps it would be nicer to use 'seeping' and 'dripping', or something similar
-It's wrong to assume that players have a light, that they stumble almost blindly, or get sucked into the mud. They might be an ultravision race, without a light, or with a levitation/fly spell
-Players do not actually have to be in the room, they can be looking through a gate or casting a wizard eye spell. Thus, they should not be reading things like 'as you raise your torch,...'
-The walls should be 'covered with' markings, not 'covered in'
-References to 'you' are invorrect, use 'one' if you have to. Preferrably in a construction like 'one might...' or 'one could...', as opposed to 'one sees/notices/feels/...'

Don't take this the wrong way, I'm just pointing out a lot of common mistakes in room descriptions. Most people call me a grammar Nazi anyway Image Anyway, hope to see your zone on the testmud soon.

Jormundgaand, Connoisseur

edit: lost my comments after entering the wrong password


[This message has been edited by Jormundgaand (edited 06-28-2002).]</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, I don't take it the wrong way at all Image I know it has mistakes cause that is a "rough draft", and i figured it could just be an idea for Selias. Image

Anyways, Thanks Image



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Leah A. W.
Selias
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Postby Selias » Sun Jun 30, 2002 11:04 pm

Jorm - well maybe you're the type who enjoys writing paragraphs with very rigid rules about what you can/can't say, but personally I can't come up with enough synonyms to churn out the rooms. I can't crank out 100rooms in a night, it's more like 10 before I go stir crazy and have to do something else.

I'm saving all the mob/item creation/quest stuff for the end, because those are the parts of the zone that I love to do. Heck sometimes I just sit in TE and create spankass items and kickass mobs that sit in a 3room zone =P.

My point is that I enjoy certain aspects of creating zones, and other parts I cannot stand. I really don't care what the room descriptions say, just as long as they're well written. I'm more interested in the technical aspects of the zone, not in the surface of it.

Sel
Cerlayne
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Postby Cerlayne » Sun Jun 30, 2002 11:24 pm

i love building areas... in fact this is only mud i've played on i've never built on... and my problem has never been descrips... i've always taken pride that i refuse to duplicate room descrips unless it fits the theme (say a forest in which you want someone to have a difficult time finding their way through it.. then dupes are good).. my prob has always been getting the mobs appropriate.. having not played many different characters i have a hard time figuring out what is balanced and isn't... mmmm i could write descrips for hours...

anyways...

Cerly
Corth
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Postby Corth » Mon Jul 01, 2002 12:23 am

selias,

I think theres nothing wrong with being interested in one aspect of zone creation and not another. Instead of an open casting call, however, i would find someone to collaborate with who would be willing to do the descriptions and make the zone more well rounded then just a technical marvel. Having multiple people working on room descriptions will likely give your zone a schizophrenic feel. Your best off finding someone that isn't interested in the technical aspects, but is interested in the creative aspect.

Corth

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Goddamned slippery mage.
old depok
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Postby old depok » Mon Jul 01, 2002 1:36 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Corth:
<B>selias,

I think theres nothing wrong with being interested in one aspect of zone creation and not another. Instead of an open casting call, however, i would find someone to collaborate with who would be willing to do the descriptions and make the zone more well rounded then just a technical marvel. Having multiple people working on room descriptions will likely give your zone a schizophrenic feel. Your best off finding someone that isn't interested in the technical aspects, but is interested in the creative aspect.

Corth

</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now that would be a cool idea for a zone. The "beach fortress of the Schizophrenic Paladin/decorator".

The whole room descriptions could help add to the feel that the fortress was built buy someone with multiple personalities.

This room is filled with furniture haphazardly "arranged" all covered in blue slip covers. There is so much furniture in the room that there is no descernable path from one door to the others. The walls are lined with blue velvet and have an aged and worn appearance.

This room appears to be empty. There are markings on the floor in white that appear to be outlines of furniture. There are wall sconces that hold two candles each and are evenly spaced around the room. The meticulousness of the organization of the room can be seen in the many places where there have been revisions on the furniture plan.

This room is decorated in fur. All surfaces in the room are covered with a rioutous combination of animal pelts. There are stripes and solids of differing styles and colors throughout the room. There are sofas, arm chairs and foot stools; Armoires, tables, and chests; All of which are covered in different types of fur. The walls themselves have four different types of fur (they appear to be rabbit, lion, leopard and zebra). The ceiling appears to be Lynx.

The quests could be completely disjointed and appear to be without rhym or reason. The items could have combinations of properties that would be completely strange the sword that acted as a wand that was +max int and +hps but was not actually a weapon. The wand that was actually a slashing weapon for paladins. There could be a cool wizards hat that was actually !mage and had hitter stats.

Chuckle. I got tooo much time at work these days

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